Some Say (Jean Kirstein X Reader)

Chapter Twenty Six

A bright light floods the darkness that surrounds me. Voices mutter to one another but through my blurry vision I can't make out their faces. Something doesn't feel right.

Someone touches my arm, their hand is cold. I flinch away but metal shackles hold my wrists in place behind my back.

"No escaping for you." A man's voice comes from beside me.

My vision starts to clear, I'm in a room. White walls, no windows, chained to a chair. Where am I? My head swivels around, looking for something or someone familiar. Three men and a woman watch me, their eyes follow every movement I make.

"Where am I?" I groan, my throat feels like sandpaper.

"Home." One man says.

"Where's Erwin? Levi? Jean?" I ask.

The people in the room stop, sharing a look before laughing. This makes my blood run cold. My memories are a little hazy about what happened.

I abandoned my friends.

Bertholdt kicked Eren into the wall.

I shifted.

Fought with Reiner.

An explosion.

One of my legs is missing.

Jean looks into my eyes...

My heart stops. The cart titan, the blond man with the glasses. I couldn't fight back and it was all my fault. I was captured.

A door creaks open and I find myself staring at the said blond man. He doesn't meet my glare as he walks in.

"Good to see she is finally awake." He says to the group. "Any information?"

"No, she has only just woken up." The woman states.

"She asked about some people. Probably referring to those devils you fought with." A man comments.

"Perfect timing on my half then." The blond man pulls a cigarette from his pocket, lighting it.

His eyes slowly move over to me. Something glints in them that I can't quite make out but it brings a wave of fear over me. What does he want with me?

"Hello, (y/n)." He walks over to stand in front of me.

I spit at his feet. "Tell me where the hell I am?" I snap.

He chuckles to himself, pushing his glasses up. "I can take it from here." He says to the group of people.

They nod before leaving the room, leaving me alone with the blond man. He drags over a stool and takes a seat directly across from me.

"Welcome to Marley (y/n), I'm Zeke. Well, I should really be saying welcome home." He takes a long drag of his cigarette, blowing smoke into the air.

"That's the second time someone has said that to me. Care to explain because I got laughed at when I asked where Erwin, Levi, and Jean are?" I snarl.

He leans forward. "Levi? He's the small, aggressive one. Correct?"

I lurch forward in my restraints. "Answer the question. Where am I?"

He sighs, sitting back. "Those devils really did some damage to you while you lived inside the walls. Nothing we can't undo though."

"Cut the bullshit." I snap, my teeth clenched. "Tell me where I am?"

"I already told you. You're in Marley. This is where you were born."

"What's Marley? Are we still in the walls?"

He snorts. "Not even close."

My eyes grow wide. My breathing becomes shallow and my head begins to spin.

"Levi? Erwin? Jean?" I mutter to myself as I stare at the floor. "Where are you?" I whisper.

Zeke leans forward placing a hand on my knee. "You can forget about them now. They can't harm you any longer."

I shake my head. "This is all some sick dream. My own mind is doing this as some kind of punishment for being an idiot. We are all okay. Safe inside the walls." I look up at Zeke with a smile and tears in my eyes. "We are all fine. All alive, everyone is happy."

"Believe whatever you want for the moment. Soon you'll see the truth." He stands.

"What truth?"

He sighs and leans against the wall. "I guess I have some time to spare." Pulling another cigarette from his pocket, lighting it. His eyes don't meet mine. "You were born here to an Eldian couple who thought that their rebellious activities would go unnoticed. You were merely a baby at the time."

My head drops forward as it reels with a million questions. "Rebellious activities? What do you mean?" I manage to ask.

"They were a part of a group similar to what my parents were once in. Trying to start a resistance against the Marleyan's. They would've brainwashed you, forced ideas on you, corrupted you for their own gain."

Squeezing my eyes shut as I try to wrap my head around what he is telling me. "Is that how we ended up in Shiganshina?"

"That little city that Bertholdt kicked a hole in? Then, yes. But those people you were with weren't your parents. Your parents were turned into mindless titans."

My breathing hitches as a tear rolls down my cheek. "You're telling me that my whole life has been a lie. That my real parents are dead."

"I wouldn't say a lie. You were given a mission, unfortunately, it didn't go to plan. But, we finally have you back with us now."

"I want to be alone," I mumble.

"As you wish, I'll get someone to move you somewhere more comfortable and secure." He heads over to the door. He pauses and looks back over his shoulder at me. "Word of warning, we have five titan shifters in Marley so don't try anything funny."

What have I done? Why did I always screw up? At least this time I'm the one taking the punishment this time. I've really messed up though.

"Do you understand?" He asks.

I give a small nod, not bothering to answer. But, deep down the rebellious part of me wants to fight back. I've seen where that ends me up though...

Guess that is something I inherited from my biological parents and that didn't seem to do them too well either.

Moments, that felt like hours, later a person comes to retrieve me. My body is heavy yet numb follows after them with no resistance. The urge to fight slowly succumbs to the reality of my poor choices.

My whole childhood I'd been raised by strangers. Unkind, heartless strangers that treated me like a dog.

The Survey Corps has been more of a family towards me and this is how I repay them. By acting out my own selfish desires and abandoning them.

A metal door is slammed in my face. The room is small and cold. The only comfort I have right now is a musty smelling blanket.

Crawling onto the bed, I curl up into the fetal position. I hold my knees close to my body. My mind slips away from all the madness for a moment and I think about how Jean would hold me while we slept.

His strong arms wrapped around my waist as he held me from behind. His soft breaths against the back of my neck, the way our legs tangled together. How he would mumble sweet things to me in the morning as we woke up, how he pressed his lips against my shoulder.

I let the last of my happy thoughts pull me into sleep.