Some Say (Jean Kirstein X Reader)

Chapter Sixteen

WARNING - NSFW AHEAD. 18+ Side note - Jean and (y/n) are of legal age in this.

Can be read up until *** and then NSFW will start.

Chapter Seventeen will be released at the same time.

Every time I close my eyes, I see blood. Blood from years and blood from days. Everything stained red, tainted with the colour. The colour that comes at our search for freedom.

Erwin sits in his bed. His arm missing, the stubble from neglect growing on his face. Levi sits nearby looking out the window. My own thoughts clouded with death, all the ones we lost. Though it could have been much worse, it all could have been avoided.

"You don't have to stay here. I do have Levi for company." Erwin smiles over at me.

"I can't face anyone right now. I feel much less like a failure in this room than out there with the survivors." I admit.

"You didn't fail anyone," Erwin reassures me.

I shake my head. "I got captured. I let them go. I was tricked into believing they were actually my friends and that they ever cared for any of us." I snap. "I'm so naive."

"They tricked us all. There is no use in dwelling on it."

I sigh. "You can say all you want but it won't make me feel any better about what's happened. I failed in my mind and only I can change that."

Levi looks over at me, his eyes are dark. "Learn to live with it but don't let it defeat you. Do you think Erwin and I haven't had people in our lives we have failed? People under our command who entrusted their lives to us."

I stand from my seat. "I'll keep that in mind. I need some fresh air."

"Take some time, I'm fine," Erwin says.

"Go piss off the other brats like you used to. Start a fight between Eren and horse face if you must." Levi says.

A smile comes to my face, a genuine smile. "You mean Eren and my boyfriend."

Levi's eye twitches at the word boyfriend. "I will never understand what you see him in as potential partner material."

Erwin chuckles. "Leave them be, Levi. They have very much proven that they are capable of having a romantic relationship as well as maintain their roles in the Survey Corps."

"Thank you, Erwin. Now if you excuse me gentleman I'm going to go find him." I wink at Levi.

He gets to his feet but Erwin holds out a hand to him. There is some muffled discussion as I leave the room but I don't stay back to find out about what.

Jean is outside talking with Armin and Eren as I approach. For once Eren and him aren't at each other's throats.

"Afternoon, guys." I greet them, standing across from Jean.

"(y/n)!" Eren exclaims. "How are you?"

"Good, I've recovered from all my physical injuries. You?"

He gives me a half-smile. "I'm all recovered as well. Have you just been with the Captain and the Commander?"

"I have. Erwin is healing well but it's still a shock to see him in that condition. I'm just glad he's alive."

Jean moves forward and embraces me tightly. We really haven't had a chance to talk since we all got back. I was pulled away to monitor my healing while he was taken to the infirmary for his injuries.