Six of a Kind

십육: Seokjin is Blind

Namjoon had been a ball of nerves since the opticians appointment. He had done research into preemie babies. He knew that they would all more than likely need glasses. That didn't bother him. It was the fact that Seokjin was suspected to be partly blind, and he never even knew. He knew Jimin had sight problems, as he always held things close to his face, and Jungkook squinted a lot.

What made him feel awful is, now that Seokjin had been nearly diagnosed, he could see some signs of Seokjin's blindness. His left eye always shook a little when he tried to focus on things. He always played with colourful toys, but Namjoon now noticed the small squint, his left eye not quite tracking the colours. If someone stood on Seokjin's left side, then he didn't turn to face them.

He wondered what life was like for Seokjin before his hearing surgery, and when he took his hearing aids out. He was completely deaf without them, one of his eyes couldn't see properly, and the other was blurry enough for him to not be able to recognise large objects. He had two senses taken away from him.

Namjoon wondered what he would have done if Seokjin was born blind and deaf. Would he have been able to cope? Would he have tried to ignore it the way he used to try and ignore the babies' problems?

It sent him into a string of self-loathing. He always reflected about how he ignored their symptoms. He tried to ignore Jimin's countless seizures. The boy was still wheezing, but Namjoon just never had enough money spare for an appointment. He still all owed them a toy for using the toilet for the first time.

However, that thought came laced with a little bit of happiness. Taehyung, Hoseok, and Yoongi were out of nappies part time. They still wore one to bed, and if they were going somewhere in the car, but in the house, they had learnt to ask for Namjoon's help in going. Namjoon had set up two potties in the bathroom so they could try and go independently, but Taehyung liked using the real toilet, and Hoseok always got tangled in his jeans, and sometimes Yoongi didn't quite make it in time.

Seokjin, Jungkook, and Jimin were much harder, though. Seokjin was getting there. He sometimes alerted Namjoon with an odd grunt, and sometimes he just didn't bother. Jungkook could ask, but he didn't like the loud toilet, and he felt too shy to ask. It was a waste of words, and what if Namjoon refused to help him? (Of course, this would never happen, but Jungkook was too anxious to realise that.) Jimin, on the other hand, just couldn't figure it all out. He didn't understand the potty, or the toilet, or why daddy kept pointing to them.

Namjoon looked at the six as they played on the floor, anxiously looking at his watch. It was Jimin and Seokjin's eye test today. He knew he shouldn't be worried. He knew they would need glasses. They would get used to them. He knew this was going to happen.

But the severity of it was what made him so nervous. Jimin's sight could be so bad he may go blind. Seokjin could go even more blind. What if they couldn't see even with glasses? What if Seokjin needed another surgery?

A couple of times in the past week, Namjoon had put Seokjin on his lap, and shone his phone light into his left eye. He didn't have the special equipment that the optician did to look into the back of his eye, but even he could see that Seokjin's pupil was cloudy and a little white. Seokjin had just sat there, giving his little smile that made his cheeks all chubby.

Namjoon had also started to worry about how Jungkook was going to handle glasses. At the start of the appointment, he was a little fussy about a strange woman touching his face, but by the end, he didn't want anything touching him, and he threw off the frames Namjoon tried to put on him. How would he handle glasses on his face 24/7?

The knock on the door made Hoseok startle. Namjoon patted his head quickly to stop him from crying, scooped Jimin into his arms, and let the ophthalmologist in. She chucked Jimin's chin gently, then lugged all of her equipment in.