Darling (Harry Styles)

chap 19

HARRY STYLES
Dexter's Bar - Deimos Headquarters

   I did feel bad.

I know that Annabelle doesn't think I do. I know that none of the boys think I do — especially Louis. But, I really do.

I've never felt bad before. I've never felt bad for something I've said about someone because I've always meant it. But with Annabelle, I didn't mean any of those things I said. At least not anymore.

I was projecting my own feelings of hatred and insecurity and I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to hurt her. I've always acted with intention, but with her, I was different.

I hated feeling bad. It was like a deep pit of guilt resided in my stomach and my pride was too much to drain it.

I hadn't spoken to anyone since Louis had outed me to Annabelle. I felt her slight twitch when I picked her up so I knew she was at least a little awake and Louis' loud voice definitely pulled her out of the slumber entirely.

I wish I could've never taken her back to the stowaway house. I wish I could've kept us at that park forever.

But, the time I spent with her was a good thing. And I don't get good things. People like me don't deserve good things and I don't deserve Annabelle.

I don't even like her. I just want to be friendly again. She always listened to me, even when I said the most useless shit she listened. And she was a sight to look at, a treasure to uncover.

It hit me truly last night just how ethereal she was. Her hair was always slightly wavy and it looked incredibly soft especially when her horribly manicured hands ran through it.

Her eyes were so bright I felt like they saw right through my soul. It felt like they uncovered everything about you and you always wanted them to. I wanted her to look at me forever.

But, as friends.

Niall smacked my shoulder, bringing me back to reality in the front of the car. "Are you coming, mate? Get it together."

I didn't respond as he left the front seat, leaving me to be the only one inside the car as it seemed Cooper and Louis were having a small dispute in front of the bar. This was our job for the day and it seemed like so long since we'd gotten to do a job like this.

The last person we killed were Timmy and his little minions when they attacked Annabelle.

I wonder if she's had a nightmare about him lately.

I got out of the passenger seat quickly, opening the trunk as I zoned out of their conversation. I already knew what they were talking about.

Cooper was angry at Louis for what he did — he didn't think it was right to destroy the little happiness that Annabelle had left. Which was right, but there was always the point that she would've been even more broken had she found out later about it all.

Louis has known Annabelle for years and he just tries to do his best for her. That's understandable even if it pisses me the fuck off.

Helicopter parent.

I grabbed one of the guns and empty duffel bags, seeing as everyone else had been quick enough to get their own before shutting the trunk loudly. The sound ended all other disputes and we engulfed ourselves in the work.