Ridin' |norenmin|

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Renjun opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was a white ceiling. His head was aching and he was so sure it will explode soon because even blinking softly was painful. He whimpered in pain a bit as he tried to keep his eyes open. Everything was spinning slowly and when his eyes landed on his right arm, he realized he was wearing other clothes. 

"No.." Renjun ignored the spinning sensation and widened his eyes in panic. He stood up in a sitting position and tried to calm himself down. Suddenly, the sight of his brother kneeling next to him in the bathroom came back. So it wasn't a hallucination after all. "Fuck my life." Renjun ruffled his hair and that's when he noticed his bandaged arms. He tried his best not to tear, because he was still alive and he was still breathing. 

"Renjun?" While he was spacing out, Kun's voice rang in his ears which made him come back. When he looked at the owner of the voice, he saw his older brother just closing the door of the hospital room. He looked more than concerned at this point, which made the younger avoid his gaze when Kun sat down on the small chair next to his bed. "How are you feeling?" 

Like shit, Renjun wanted to say. He felt his eyes burning, his head spinning and giving him hints that it will explode from the pain soon and his hands started trembling too. 

"Hey." Kun placed his warm hand on his shoulder, making the blonde haired male look at him. "What happened to you? Is it because of the accident? If it is, you can talk to me you know that. I won't even tell mom anything if you don't want her to worry more. Just talk to me instead." 

"Mom doesn't know?" Renjun frowned. So his mom didn't know he almost killed himself and that he was in hospital? 

Kun shook his head and sighed heavily. "I figured it would be better for her not to know what happened to you last night. Also, where have you been that you came so late and depressed?" 

Renjun looked outside. He couldn't bear looking at his brother at all. Why couldn't Kun just be asleep last night? If he was then nothing would have happened. He would have died, he realized it now, because one of the cuts was too deep. He really was cursed, because he couldn't have peace at all. 

"I was out with some friends. I told mom already." 

Kun scoffed. "You can't lie to me. Why are you lying like that Renjun? You know I won't buy it anyway." 

"Then why would you insist if you know I'm lying?" The younger snapped and threw himself back in the bed. He covered himself with the blanket and turned his back to Kun. "I want to sleep." 

He heard Kun sigh again. Then he stood up from the chair and seemed like he stood next to the bed few moments before he started making his way towards the door. "You'll be discharged in a few hours." That was all he said before the door closed with a deaf sound behind him. 

Renjun finally allowed himself to cry. Kun was the last person he wanted to find out about anything that happened in his life. His brother didn't deserve this pain at all and it was enough that Jaemin knew already. Speaking of Jaemin, how the fuck will he face him from now on? 

________________________

Renjun went downstairs the next morning. He was really grateful that Taeil didn't call in two days, because he felt like he wouldn't even be able to beat the crap out of someone. The moment he saw Kun's face made Renjun gulp. His eyes landed on his mom, who had a smile on her face while she placed the breakfast on the table. 

"Come eat." The woman urged her younger son to sit down at the table, across from Kun. Renjun faked a smile and decided to try and eat something, even if he wasn't hungry at all. His eyes met Kun's, but he quickly looked away from the older. "Where have you been yesterday since you didn't come home only at dinner?" 

Renjun thought for a good reply. She already knew he went out for drinks with some friends so he could easily lie. "Ah you know, I ended up staying at Ten overnight again because it was too late to come home." Renjun kept the fake smile on his face while he took his chopsticks and started eating from the home made Ramen his mom cooked. 

"You should bring him over sometimes. I didn't see him in years." The woman ruffled his hair before she joined her two sons. "Is it good?" 

"Delicious." Kun smiled as he ate his meal. 

"I'm glad then." Their mom seemed happy. If only she knew what Renjun did. 

Looking at her made the young man want to get out of there immediately. He didn't feel guilty at all that he almost did it, he almost killed himself. He was actually frustrated that Kun interrupted him the other night. Because of him, he had to live more now. 

"Thank you for the meal." Renjun suddenly stood up, only finishing half of his food. 

"You barely ate." His mom grabbed him by his left arm, making the younger flinch at the pain. 

"I-I'm not really hungry." Renjun pulled his arm out of her held and grabbed his backpack and the car keys. "But it was really good. See you two later." He faked the same smile again and stormed out of the house. Pulling the door of his Ferrari wide open, Renjun jumped in the driver's seat and then closed it. He put on the seatbelt and turned on the engine, driving the car away from his home. He could see through the mirror how the house became smaller and smaller, until it disappeared after he took the first corner. 

He arrived at the campus in twenty minutes and parked the car next to Donghyuck's Mercedes. The young man started making his way towards the entrance, when an arm wrapped itself around his shoulders, startling him a bit. When he looked in his right, he was met by Yangyang's smiley face. 

"Where have you been yesterday? I didn't see you around at all." The brunette then pouted and hid his hands in the pockets of his grey hoodie. "Oh, by the way. Lucas settled the date for the race. It's going to be next week on Friday. We'll go together right? We can even race till there."    

"Yeah, sure." Renjun replied even though he wasn't interested in the race at all. He almost forgot about it if it wasn't for Yangyang who just spoke about it. He wanted to tell the younger that he'll go first because he had another class than him, when he bumped into someone. "Sorry." He told Donghyuck, who didn't seemed to be in the mood of talking to anyone. 

"You okay?" Yangyang stopped the purple haired male by grabbing his arm. That brought Donghyuck back to reality and when he saw the two, he flinched. For some reason, the way he started at Renjun with a few seconds more than a normal would, made the blonde haired male frown. Something wasn't okay with him and he didn't need the younger to tell him that. 

"Can I talk to you for a bit Renjun?" 

The blonde haired guy nodded before looking back at Yangyang. "See you at lunch. I have a class anyway." 

"Oh, okay." The brunette mumbled before walking away from the two. 

Donghyuck lead the way up the rooftop where he met Jaemin that day. It gave Renjun a weird sensation.  As if his blood was boiling in his veins. He watched as the purple haired male rested his arms by the metal railing. He looked weird, as if something was making him scared and mad. 

"Are you okay?" Renjun decided to ask, because they were friends after all. Or at least, that's what he hoped they were. 

"No, I'm not okay." Donghyuck's straightforward reply made the older flinch. "Do you still think of me and the others as your friends? Or did you become a psychopath that can't even make the difference between the ones he cares about or the ones he hates?" 

After hearing his words, Renjun froze in spot and widened his eyes. How did he know? 

"I don't know what you're talking about." Renjun tried his best to show a neutral look, but that made Donghyuck scoff and roll his eyes.  

"I saw you." The purple haired male told him as he turned around. "At the mansion. It's my blame because I followed you that night and I kind of regret it, but I knew you were hiding something." 

"I..." Renjun didn't know what to do. Was he that obvious that Donghyuck realized he was hiding something? 

"Don't interrupt me." Donghyuck glared at him. "Look, I will try my best to understand why you became a criminal with cold blood because we became friends and I have to say I don't want our friendship to end like this." He approached the blonde haired male. "Well?"