Ridin' |norenmin|

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Small notice: There will be self harm in this chapter. Skip the part if you don't feel comfortable. Thank you. 

"This place hasn't changed a bit." Mark tried to show a smile, despite the fact that his boyfriend was trembling next to him. Donghyuck had his eyes wide like two ping pong balls. Seeing them like that, made Jeno question everything. Was it a coincidence that they came at his place after so many years of them being cold towards each other after they had that big and ugly fight when Donghyuck's brother died? 

Sighing loudly, Jeno opened one of the cupboards in the kitchen and took out two empty glasses. He filled them with water then handed Mark one and Donghyuck the other one. 

"What happened?" He then asked and glanced at Jaemin, who left the bed and approached the three. The raven haired male rested his back by one of the walls, standing across from Jeno. Seeing his red eyed made the brunette feel pain in his chest. He never wanted to see him like that, but guess he didn't have luck and this day in which he would see Jaemin cry finally came. 

"We..." Mark started and took the glass from Donghyuck before he could drop it on the floor. He softly took his hand and held it tight, hoping he would calm down. "We followed Renjun. I don't think we should tell you this, but..." He took a small pause before he looked at Jaemin. "Did you know he works for your father?" 

Jaemin flinched. He quickly glanced at Jeno, but seeing his shocked face wasn't at help at all. So it wasn't really a coincidence after all, the brunette thought while he crossed his arms over his chest. Maybe it was destiny that brought them together after so many years. Or maybe it was a sign that told them in what trouble they got themselves into without wanting at all. 

"Yeah  I knew he worked for him." The tall raven haired male replied and took a deep breath. "I didn't know what he did for him until yesterday." He gulped and started playing with his fingers again, like he always did when he felt anxious and scared. 

"He went to this mansion with a short man. When we saw the logo of your family I told him we should get the hell out of there, but he insisted of staying just a bit. We heard someone screaming from inside then they got shot." Mark looked from Jeno to Jaemin. "Tell me he doesn't kill for your dad for money." 

"He does." Jaemin replied without looking at the two. He heard Donghyuck gasping while Mark just cursed instead. "But I can't hate him. He was so close to killing my mom but he declined the job. I think he just needs some help to be able to get out of..." 

"He's a criminal!" Donghyuck suddenly appeared in front of him and grabbed the taller by his shoulders. "A fucking criminal Jaemin. It doesn't matter if he didn't kill your mom. He killed others." It was visible in the purple haired male's eyes that he was scared to death. "I heard him shoot someone Jaemin. Have you heard him?" 

"No." The younger hissed at him and pushed the shorter guy away from him. "But I saw the regret in his eyes. He knows that he's only way to escape this shit is either death or life prison. I already know what he'll choose." 

Donghyuck scoffed and rolled his eyes. Anger took over him, Jaemin realized, because his eyes looked like were on fire. His expressions changed too. He no longer showed fear. Just anger and disgust. 

"You do realize he might be a psychopath right?" The purple haired male asked him after he was done walking in circles. "He might even kill us with cold blood." 

"We shouldn't have found out in the first place." Jaemin fought back and pushed himself away from the wall. He grabbed Donghyuck by the collar of his black shirt. "And yes, he already is a psychopath. He has some moments of lucidity and that's all. Still, he didn't kill my mom so I can't have this hate towards him like you have. Do you get it?" He yelled the last part which startled the shorter guy. 

"Jaemin." Jeno came between them and pulled them away from each other. "I say we ignore everything okay? I don't want to get ourselves in some bigger shit than this. I know it will be hard for you two..." He looked at Mark and Donghyuck before he sighed. "But try okay? We can't expose ourselves." 

Jaemin already knew the meaning of his words. He really wanted to run away with him and that made him do things like this one. Normally, they should call the police straight away, but for them to run away peacefully, they couldn't do such thing.

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Renjun entered his room and fell on his knees. He started trembling immediately and when he looked at his hand, he saw his own blood covering his pale skin. From instinct, he locked the door just in case then stood up and approached his desk again. He took of his turtle neck and then the bloody bandage that covered half of his neck. A tear fell down his cheek as he just stared at that long and red cut. 

"What am I going to do?" Renjun sobbed and covered his mouth so he won't be loud. He didn't want to wake his brother and mom up at all. The last thing he wanted in that moment was that to happen. He felt so tired, after two night of not sleeping like a normal person, but he was also tired of repeating everything. "Why can't this life just end?" Renjun sighed heavily and opened his closet. He took out of it a white t-shirt and threw it over himself. 

The blonde haired male then entered the bathroom he had in his room and started washing his face and neck. The water soon was colored in red as he cleaned the cut. He looked in his reflection and tried not to tear again. 

"You're a monster." Renjun told himself as he looked at his reflection. "A monster who doesn't deserve a peaceful death." His eyes drifted away from his reflection onto the small knife he left there earlier. It was still covered in blood so he placed under the cold water to clean it. He then looked at his pale arms. The left one had the white and thin scars from his multiple attempts of suicide before the accident. It didn't feel right to him. They looked to invisible. As if they never happened in the first place. 

Renjun already knew he went back to that horrible state he started to develop a bit too much every day, in which he felt no pain or guilt, because when he touched his soft skin with the cold blade, he actually felt at peace. The cold surface of the blade which met his skin was something he couldn't describe, but it made his eyes shine. A sad smile formed is lips when he pushed the blade through the skin. While a normal person would feel pain if they cut themselves, for Renjun was the exact opposite. He actually felt warmth filling his body, peace filling his mind and emptiness filling his soul. He decided to watch for a while while the blood dripped down from the fresh wound. It almost made a drawing with its red color. 

Not feeling as if this was enough, Renjun grabbed the blade with his other hand and cut his unharmed arm too. He won't die from those to long cuts, because the blade didn't make a deep cut into the veins. But he still decided to rest his arms by the sink and just watch as the pressure he put in his weak muscles made the blood fall quicker. 

"Ah I feel dizzy." The blonde haired male suddenly stumbled backwards and met the cold wall behind. He looked at his reflection, while he slowly allowed himself to hit the floor. "Ah, so I really am going to die after all." He smiled weakly as he watched the blood color the floor. 

He suddenly felt like dreaming, because the sound of his door unlocking rang in his ears. But no one could unlock it since he was the only one with a key. 

"Holly fuck Renjun what are you doing on the floor?" A familiar voice then filled his ears and while his eyes were fighting a battle of keeping themselves open, the young man caught a glimpse of his brother's face. The last thing before he felt his eyes shut for good was Kun who knelt next to him and seemed like screaming for him to wake up, but what he didn't know was that Renjun didn't want to wake up.