Ridin' |norenmin|

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Just a small announcement here guys! I just wanted to say that my intention is not to promote suicide and depression with this book at all, I felt the need to explain myself if there were some people who thought that. I know how it is to have depression so I don't want to promote it in any way. I never had the intention to write the story as a cute one in the first place and to make the plot complex, I thought that making one of the characters like this would also make the action longer and the story better. I just felt like telling you guys this in case some of you thought I was promoting such thing like suicide and depression. Thank you! 

Please enjoy the chapter now! :)) 
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"I want to help you." Jaemin couldn't help himself but stare at Renjun's covered arm. Even if the sleeve of the turtleneck was covering that wound, Jaemin could still see it in his mind. Suddenly, he felt his lower lip tremble because of this desire to help that blonde haired guy, he had to give up someone he cared for. Why did he have to remember it now? 

Flashback - 2 days ago 

Almost two days have passed since that night when Donghyuck and Mark came to Jeno's apartment. The four came to a conclusion that pretending not to know anything was the safest thing for them, but Jaemin couldn't agree with them at all. Yes, he did say he was okay with idea that night, but in reality, he wanted to just leave that place. 

He decided to play along, because that would help Jeno too with his plan of running away. Running away with his best friend for life sounded nice. Jaemin would finally be able to get out of that house he had to call home. That place wasn't his home, those people weren't his family either, that's why he didn't want to tell Jeno that he wanted to help Renjun. He knew how against the idea Jeno was, because he was afraid that they won't be able to run away if Jaemin would decide to play such dangerous game. The younger already knew what he would get himself into if he really decided to help him. 

Still, after two days of thinking, Jaemin decided he should tell the older because it wasn't fair at all to keep lying to himself and to Jeno as well. So he took the courage to make the brunette look away from his homework one afternoon. Jaemin took a deep breath before he started speaking. 

"I want to help him."  The younger blurted out the words and felt like his hear would explode. He waited for the brunette to start arguing again, but nothing came from Jeno's mouth. Not even one word. When Jaemin looked up from his hands, at his best friend, he saw that Jeno was no longer looking at the notebook. His eyes were glued on his face, but that wasn't why Jaemin suddenly felt like trash. It was because of the way Jeno was looking at him, as if he was choosing to side with Renjun not with him. "We can still run away." 

"No we can't. If you choose to help that guy then everything is over." Jeno sighed loudly and took out a cigarette from a small box he kept on the table. 

"Yes we can. After  that we..." 

Jeno slammed his fist onto the table and gave him a cold look. He kept the burning cigarette between his lips, not breathing in the chemical at all. 

"You need to choose. Me or him." 

"What?" Jaemin felt confused as fuck. Was that even a real question? "I think you drank too much again." The raven haired male grabbed a half empty bottle of beer and took it away from the brunette. But Jeno only chuckled bitterly as he smoked and shook his head. 

"I might as well get high, but I would still be able to think clearly when it comes to this. So choose." The older leaned more in the chair and threw his head backwards while he smoked the cigarette in silence. His lips parted when he took the now finished cigarette with his fingers. Then he looked back at Jaemin. "Choose." 

The young man always knew this side of Jeno, still he tried to believe he changed. His best friends was always possessive and would get angry easily, especially when Jaemin would refuse something or he would decided on the last minute to do something else. But what made Jeno angrier was when Jaemin would either lie to him or hide things from him. 

Jaemin suddenly stood up and slammed his palms by the cold surface of the table. If Jeno was going to be an asshole, he will be one as well. 

"Try to be less pathetic from now on okay? We'll stick by the plan and I will also manage to help Renjun even if you like it or not." 

The younger didn't wait for Jeno to say anything because he was already angry enough. He threw his backpack over his shoulder, took the keys of his car and slammed the door of Jeno's apartment after he exited it. His lower lips started trembling while he ran down the stairs. A salty tear fell down his cheek while he jumped inside his Lamborghini and after he started the engine, Jaemin drove away towards his home. 

Why couldn't Jeno understand that he couldn't just watch someone go through such hell when that someone couldn't even kill his own mother for a good payment? It wasn't fair, because as much as Jaemin wanted to deny it, he couldn't hate Renjun anymore. They were no longer just rivals at racing competitions. He knew Renjun's secret and Renjun knew private things about his life as well. 

Still, the thought of losing Jeno over something like this made his heart ache. He had to do something to get the brunette to understand, but Jaemin failed. The next day, when he tried to approach Jeno, not only did he look extremely hurt, but he also avoided the raven haired. 

"Why are you acting like a kid?" Jaemin got the chance to stop him on the hallway and he dragged him somewhere where no one could hear them. "Jeno. Talk to me."  The younger softly grabbed him by his wrist, but he pulled away. 

"When I told you to choose I meant it. I want to save you, but you refuse my help Jaemin. You always did that. I tried to help you, but you refused my help. I tried to be there for you, but you constantly pushed me away. You think that doesn't hurt?" Their eyes met and Jaemin saw two tears leaving Jeno's dark eyes. "When you confessed I thought things would change, but they clearly can't change after so much time." A sad chuckle left his throat. "Go help him if that's what you want to do, but don't come at me when it's too late." 

The brunette didn't wait for Jaemin to reply. He already knew the younger was too shocked to even react. Jaemin stared at him as he disappeared through the crowd of students. A tear fell down his cheek. He lost him. 

End of flashback 

"So this is what happened." Renjun hummed a response after he listened to Jaemin. At least he was good at listening, because the raven haired male could barely stop himself from crying. "Why do you want to help me after all? Can't you see that because of me you lost the guy you love?" 

"I still hope I didn't lose him." Jaemin wiped a tear as he looked at the sky. They were back on the rooftop, because that place was forever empty and abandoned. "I don't have an answer for your first question. I don't know either, but I can't watch you destroy yourself because of a fucking job. I could help you by sending my father in jail, then you could be free and..." 

Renjun's laugh interrupted him. "I'll never be free Jaemin. I can't even dream of that. I'm a criminal for fucks shake, how could I be free? I'll be put in jail until I rotten there."  

"I could get you out after few years." 

"Never." Renjun almost jumped from the bench. He cursed. "Just, go back to Jeno and apologize while you still can. Run away with him and leave this place. I'll handle things." 

"But I want to help you." 

"You can't." The blonde haired raised his voice and stood up. "He'll make me kill you. I already told you that. If you help me, I'll be the last person you'll see." Renjun glanced behind and met his eyes. 

"No, you won't be the last person I'll see. Don't worry." A small smile formed his lips before he stood up and joined Renjun by the railing. Their shoulders touched and the two stood in silence and admired the campus from that height.