Save Yourself

How to Out Wit a Dimwit

On monday they were all back in the Founders Wing. "I have something to tell you." Remus said seriously making everyone in the room freeze. "What is it Moony? You're not gonna break up with me are you?" "Yeah, you're not breaking up with us, right?" The twins said mimicking Sirius' heart broken look with scary accuracy. "You're pregnant?!?!" Harry, Henry, and Neville shouted at the same time. Remus blinked. "How'd you know?" He asked with wide eyes. Half the room broke down in tears while the other half shouted with joy. Lee stood awkwardly in the middle not knowing who was right. "How could you leave me like this Moony?" Sirius cried clutching Remus' arm. "DON'T LEAVE US!" The twins shouted attaching themselves to his legs. "I wasn't talking to you three idiots." Remus snapped at them irritably. "Oh? So you're just pregnant?" The twins spoke in unison as they picked themselves up off the floor, looking for all the world like they had not been sobbing their hearts out. Sirius had frozen in his place and was staring at Remus in wonder. "Yes, I am pregnant with twins." This made Sirius jump to his feet and practically howl with joy. The twins hugged each other then Remus and joined the rest of the room in the mini party. Remus looked around the room at the seven people who had become his family and rubbed his stomach. "Please, please, let you two be girls. I know I'm gay and so is probably the entirety of this room, but I really need some women in my life. God I miss Lily." He said as Sirius and Harry danced on the table. He spotted the twins dancing closely with Henry and groaned. "We are really gonna have to have that talk soon." Not even a ten minutes later Mcgonagall's cat patronus arrived asked them to meet at her office. Harry had a feeling he knew what this. Would be about and suggested that Remus stay with the kids while he and Sirius went to hash it out. "Professor, to what do I owe this splendid summons? Do you wish to ask after the children?" Harry asked Mcgonagall with a dazzling smile and gently kissed her hand in greeting. "Ah, Minnie dear you look as lovely as ever. Care to dine with us this evening? We have some splendid news to share." Sirius said copying Harry's mannerisms exactly making Mcgonagall laugh. "Now, now, you silly boys we don't have time for this. Inside. Shoo." She said gently herding them into her office. Everyone from the meeting of champions were seated various places around the room. Dumbledore himself was seated at Mcgonagall's desk looking like he owned the place. That was until he saw Harry for the first time. Harry had never seen some react so violently. It was hilarious to say the least, but Harry worked hard to hide his amusement. Sirius didn't have as much luck and ended up pretending he was coughing instead of laughing. "Boys may I present Madam Olympe Maxime, the headmistress of Beauxbatons Academy of Magic. Madam Maxime allow me to present Sirius Black and his adoptive brother Harry Potter." Sirius stepped forward first and bowed before taking the giant woman's hand to kiss it gently. "It is a pleasure to experience such beauty in person. I can now boast I have truly seen all the wonders of the world Madam." He said in French causing the woman to blush. "My brother jests Madam, as far as we know you are the only wonder this world holds. I for one can say I have never seen a woman more beautiful than you. Though my own mother was certainly of equal standing." Harry said stepping up to greet the woman as Sirius had. Harry's comment had cause both Fleur and Madam Maxime to giggle lightly. "Oh my. You two are a delight. It is a pleasure to meet you as well. This is my student, Fleur. She has been chosen as a champion."  Both men greeted Fleur in the same manner the had greeted the two women before her. "If you two lads are done charming the lasses I think we should get to the rest of the introductions." Mcgonagall said in amusement. Sirius sent her a flirty wink which made her laugh. "I am Igor Karkaroff and I am the headmaster of Durmstrang Institute. This is the champion of my school Victor Krum." The man said proudly. Harry and Sirius simply nodded in greeting. "This is Mr. Cedric Diggory, the Hogwarts Champion. This is Professor Moody our new Defense Professor. And these are Mr. Crouch and Mr. Bagman, they represent the Ministry in the case of the Triwizard Tournament." Mcgonagall quickly finished the introductions. "We are here to discuss how your name ended up in the Goblet of Fire. We are aware that you weren't at Hogwarts in order actually place your name in the Goblet and since you are not actually a student of any school you can not compete, but the Goblet is a magically bidding contract. So that means you can nominate a student in your place. We believe the best choice for this would be your nephew...." Harry up his hand to cut Crouch off. When the man finally shut up he turned to Sirius and began speaking rapidly in koro, a rare language they had picked up in India. Something they were certain no one else in the room spoke. "What do you wish to do, Papa? I can easily get out of this tournament. You know that. This is a goblin made artifact and we know what kinda fail safes that are put on them. We know where Tom is we can simply steal him and his newest horcrux to preform the ritual. We do not need to place anyone in the tournament unless you wish to. You know how Henry feels about it." Sirius nodded his understanding. "Let's send a letter to the goblins and get you out of this thing. If there is no need to put any of our family at risk let's not. We should probably kidnap Jr. Before we go and get Tommy. We will need him for the ritual." Harry nodded his agreement and snapped his fingers for Dobby. "Dobby we need you to inform Irongrip that the name Harry Potter has come out of the Goblet of Fire and we would like him to bring the magical contracts that were created when the champions entered their names." Dobby nodded his understanding before popping away. "Mr. Potter..." "Lord." Crouch blinked when he was cut off by Sirius. "He is Lord Potter-Black." He said simply eyeing the man who would have thrown him in prison without a trail if it hadn't been for Harry. Moments later Irongrip and Dobby popped back into the room with the paperwork. Irongrip explained that all the magical contracts that were created my the Goblet of Fire were null and void. In order to enter into a magical contract the person must do as follows:

1. Write their full name including all lordships and heirships.

2. Write on veritaserum soaked paper to discern if the writer is being coerced.

3. Write using a blood quill so that their magic and blood would bind them to the contract.

As none of those steps were fulfilled the contracts did not take. Therefore Harry did not have to participate neither did any of the other champions. "So, problem solved. You have the three champions you originally wanted and no one will lose their magic if they fail to complete a task. And I do mean complete not compete. It says so right here on the last clause of the contract. Good luck you three." Harry said standing up from his seat and dusting off his hands. Mcgonagall laughed and ushered both Harry and Sirius out of her office. "Well, done lads. Now off you pop. I'm sure you have students wondering where you are." "See you tonight for dinner, Professor." "Bye Minnie." They responded cheerfully before jogging all the way back to the Founders Wing.