The Stuggle of Loving You | a. hotchner | ✔

Chapter 12

"Hi"

"I wanna have that talk", I stepped to the side and let him in. We walked over to the couch and sat down, sitting next to each other.

My heart raced a bit, not knowing how to prepare for what he was going to say.

He took a few deep breaths, "I don't know how to say this so uh- I'm just going to. I like you, more than I probably should. The months I didn't talk to you, it felt like there was a void. Then there you were again and everything felt whole, I felt better. You don't really have to say anything, you don't need to reciprocate but I-."

I cut him off, gathering the courage that had been building for the last two years, and last few days. I pressed my lips to his, capturing him. He instantly kissed back letting our lips move together, the pent up emotions being released into the kiss.

We slowly pulled away, savoring the taste. Pressing our forehead together and looking each other in the eyes. I brought my hand up to cup his cheek.

"You talk too much", he let out a breathy chuckle and pulled me towards him.

I extended my legs and straddled his lap. His hand went to my hips and held me there against him. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."

"I think I know", I did; wanting the same thing for the longest time. His hand traveled up my waist, going behind my neck. He smashed his lips to mine, passion flowing through us. His lips were soft against mine, my only thought being what they'd feel like everywhere else.

He moved his trail of kisses to my neck and collarbone, gently sucking on my skin. Leaving light hickeys behind. I unconsciously grinded my hips against him and soft moans fell from our lips.

"Aaron", I said breathlessly, being too focused on the pleasure that was occurring.

His hand made its way down and into the waistband of my underwear.

"Aaron- wait", he pulled back and cupped my face. "What is it princess?", his voice was low, like I was the only thing that mattered to him.

"I want to take it slow", he pushed the hair from the front of my face, behind my ear.

"Of course", he slowly leaned back in and kissed me deeper. His tongue made its way into my mouth. I resumed what I was doing, grinding my hips onto his and my mouth suppressed his moans. His hand resumed and dipped into my underwear, softly grazing my slit.

He was hovering over my clit, teasing me. "Please," I felt him grin against me. Applying pressure and circling my clit, giving me relief. It was better than I imagined, he was so... gentle.

Things got more heated as he picked me up and carried me down the hallway. A gasp left my lips when he laid me down on the bed. My hands moved down his toned chest and to his belt. Undoing his belt, I tossed it to the ground, and undid his pants.

"So eager", his voice vibrated against my skin. His lips went over the spots on my neck.

"Let's get these off", he tugged at my sweatshirt and underwear tossing them to the side of the room. I felt self conscious and I covered myself up, not wanting him to see me. He knew what was going through my head and grabbed onto the sheets covering my body, whispering, "You're gorgeous."

It sent chills down my spine; I reached up pulling off his shirt, he kicked off everything. Both of us were exposed, I ran my hand down his chest and to his shaft. Putting my hand around him and stroking, he breathed out.

"Fuck", it had been awhile since he was with anyone.

Going back down his fingers were slick with the arousal pooling between my legs just waiting for him. Aaron was trying to prepare me for his cock knowing it'd be a bit much. He slid one finger in, it was a new feeling; no one had ever done that to me.

He pumped his fingers in and out. Eager to get it over with, he pulled his fingers out he lined himself up. I could feel the tip dipping in. "Wait", he stopped and looked at me, waiting for me to continue.

"I've- uh", he finished my sentence. "You've never done this." I nervously shook my head. Hotch brought his hand to the back of my head, "Are you sure you wanna do this?" I nodded, but he didn't do anything.

"I need your words."

"I want you", He needed the reassurance.

"Just relax, this is gonna be uncomfortable. Tell me if you want to stop", he pushed into me and I screwed my eyes closed. The pain spread throughout, I kept my breathing under control. I felt like I was being torn open, judging off of the pressure I was feeling Aaron was definitely larger.

"You're doing so well", he stayed in place, waiting for me to calm down and the pain to subside. The tension in my body made me clench around him.

My body released the tension and I opened my eyes and saw Aaron gazing back at me. He pulled back then dipped back in, a groan fell from his lips.

"Fuck", I whimpered out, the pain wasn't completely gone.

I furrowed my brows and reassured him, "I'm fine." Pulling back out and setting a slow pace. I dealt with it, Aaron made sure I was okay the whole time. He kept his eyes on me looking for any sign I wasn't okay.

"Faster", he thrusted back into me. The pain fully subsided and all I was left with was the feeling of euphoria. Aaron being the only one made it better. It was definitely worth it in the end. I felt as he moved in and out of me, seeing his face contorted in pleasure.

"Y/n, you're such a good girl for me", the praise made my heart flutter. I brought my hand up and grabbed him by his neck bringing his lips closer to mine. He grazed past my g spot going in even further, I bit his lip so hard I might've drawn blood.

"Aar-", I whimpered, the knot tightening in my stomach. I held on for him, wanting him to finish before I did. Hotch moved his hand from my hip and brought it to my clit matching his thrusts. I moaned out and clenched around him.

"I-"

"I know, I know", he continued pounding into me. Bringing me closer to the edge, I brought my nails to his back, dragging down. The sensation from the scratches had Aaron hissing through his teeth.

"I cant--."

"You can let go sweetheart", I tightened around him as my high rippled through me. I pressed my forehead to his, my face contorted in pleasure. His thrusts started to falter, moving his hands to mine interlacing our fingers.

His grip tightened, he released a final moan into my neck as he came.

He stayed inside, we settled down before moving. Wincing when he pulled out going to sit next to me. I pushed the blanket off of us, I stood up and went to the bathroom.

When I was finished Aaron was still sitting on the bed, waiting for me. I walked over to him and sat on his lap.

"Do you want to stay over?", I ran my fingers through his hair. "Yeah." I stared at his body as he got up and went to the other side of the bed. I turned off the lights and we laid down together.

My head rested on his chest. Both of us felt content that we admitted we liked each other. The thoughts I had became reality, was like a dream.

I could hear his heart beating and the sound went straight through me, making me calmer. But on the inside my stomach was doing flips, not believing this is happening. "You okay?", his fingers were sliding up and down my body.

I smiled into him, "Yeah, I'm okay." He kissed the top of my head. "Great", he was making sure I was okay, not just physically but mentally.

He wanted to make sure that I didn't regret anything but it was the best decision I've made in a long time. I didn't regret a single second of it.

I turned my body into his, bringing my leg on his. He brought his arm down and rested his hand on the back of my thigh keeping me there.

"Goodnight", I hummed in response.

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A/N

They finally slept together... usually slow burns take longer but like I've said before I fucking hate slow burns so this will have to do.

Need to clarify y/n is on birth control