This is home - SungHyuck

- one

Like any other day, I would stay up all night to play games and mess up my brain. But tonight, I'll be messing my brain up even more because I'm going to study for Chemistry. Sadly, I have a Chemistry test tomorrow and I'm so left behind. I know I won't score for tomorrow's test but at least I have a little bit of knowledge about it.

"Chanie baby why are you still awake?" My mom came in with a tray of fruits and a glass of water. She places them on my table and sits on my bed.

"I have a test tomorrow, you don't need to worry," I give her a reassuring smile. She responded with a weak 'okay', more like sighing it out, and returned the smile.

As she leaves the room, I continued studying whatever that was written in my book. Though I might not understand anything, I pretend as I do. It stresses me out that my mom knows about me having really bad grades but she doesn't seem to get mad about it.

It's either she doesn't care or she knows that I'm trying. It's somewhere in between and I can't read her. I hate how I don't deserve all this affection when all I did became is a burden and disappointment. I would say I'm a child that no one would ever want because I would drive them crazy.

And talking about disappointment, I can't even concentrate on my studying. I hate memorizing shit when I'm not in the mood so I stood up, grab my nearest jacket, took some money with me, and got out of the house. I'm probably hungry so I thought that taking a walk to the convenience store would ease it after I get something.

The walk to the store isn't too long, it's just around the corner and I had to cross a street. As soon as I walk into the store, the coldness of the air conditioner hugged me. Gladly I had my jacket on so I won't shiver my ass off.

I went to the bento isle, as I would like to call it, paid for my food, and heat it. I get more calmer when I eat alone at the store rather than in my own house. Mom would barge into my room and start attacking me with questions like why I went to the store or why I got an unhealthy instant food when we already have a good meal at home.

While I was casually standing in front of the microwave, I could see a figure from the corner of my eyes. The boy is sitting alone, eyes staring into the darkness of the street. He didn't have any food with him which was kind of weird.

The light from the microwave soon switches off. I opened the door to the microwave and got the food out. I sat behind the guy I was talking about earlier in silence. Only thoughts invading my mind. But the food tasted great though.

"Donghyuck aren't you gonna eat?" I choked on my food as soon as I heard the name. I turn around only to notice that the man behind the counter is one of his close friends, Jaemin. And the guy behind me is my so-called lifesaver, Donghyuck.

"I didn't bring any money with me," he sighs cutely. I tried not to panic and kept my cool.

"Just grab anything it's on me," his friend said. He stands up happily and took a few pieces of food that caught his eye. Jaemin didn't have a problem with the amount of food he had gotten and paid for it.

"Thanks for the company Hyuck but if you want to leave then it's totally fine. I don't want you to get tired," so he came here to accompany his friend. How nice, if I were him, I would be sleeping by now.

Roasted chicken, a bento set, a sausage, a bowl of ramen, and coke. "It's fine. I was getting bored but I think I could still handle it since you got me these," he said. He took them all with his hands and went back to his seat, preparing them while humming to a song and moving his feet to the rhythms of it. Those little things he does make my heart flutter.

I took the last bite from the container and threw it away. Before leaving the store, I grabbed a drink and paid for it. I look at the silver-haired male once again when I was outside, seeing him shoving down his food with a smile and glitter in his eyes.

It's sad how they don't even know me. His friend group is the type to say hi to anyone from school they come across but maybe my presence wasn't noticeable for them. They are popular though, I'm just an average student who has bad grades.

As soon as I got home, I change into black shorts and a tank top. I threw the jacket somewhere around the corner of my room and plopped myself on the bed. I stare at the plain white ceiling above me, the glow in the dark star stickers are still on them, but the glow was fading. When I think about it, it reminds me of my willingness to live. As years pass by, I felt like the list of reasons for me to live is slowly getting crossed out.

I turn my head to the window and there I see the moon shining brightly. It shines brightly with the help of a big star, the sun. The moon reminds me of Donghyuck, the guy I like. The reason is that the moon is surrounded by stars. The stars represent his friends, and I'm the furthest one away from him. I'm not going to consider myself as his friend, heck, we've never even talked before. And for the sun that lights up, the moon represents his personality. It's what built him into the person he is today, a positive figure that makes everyone die to be friends with him.

Imagine if the sun does not light up the moon. Wouldn't it be dark, gloomy, and dull? I wonder what got him to be happy. Is there a trick that I don't know? I giggled at myself when I think about my thoughts. Funny how I turned everything around me as a metaphor for my life. I crawled under the blanket and made myself comfortable. I switched off the lights, closing my eyes close as it gets tired.

I didn't want the night to end yet and I don't want tomorrow to come, but I'm excited because I can finally see him. My thoughts are messed up, let's put it that way. I stopped thinking about everything and let my mind rest, soon drifting off into the abyss.