This is home - SungHyuck

- twenty three

After school ended, I went straight to the park. Donghyuck told me to go first since he'll stay a little late to finish up a few things. But before I went there, I had picked up my skateboard in front of my house.

The park was quite hard to find since it was abandoned somewhere in this big city. They didn't remove it but decided to build other buildings around it to cover it up. The small gates to the park finally came into view.

"Sungchan!" Donghyuck calls out for my name from the swings. He was taking a picture of the calico cat we saw yesterday. "I thought you were coming late?" I asked him as I walked towards him.

"I said that?" He rubs his head, chuckling at himself. "Nevermind that, teach me how to use the board," he slipped his phone into the pocket of his jeans and walked towards me.

I tried finding the perfect spot to skate and gladly there was a little area for skating right next to the park. I don't see anyone using it so I'm guessing its abandoned as well. "Okay, what are the basics?" Donghyuck takes my skateboard away from me and puts it on the ground. He tried standing on it but he lost balance immediately, making him fall down.

I laughed at his clumsiness and landed him a hand. He holds on to it and stood up with my help. "Yeah very funny," he rolls his eyes, patting off the dirt on his pants.

We started off with the basics, just like what Sicheng had thought me. To begin, he needs to learn to stabilize himself on the skateboard so that he can use the board comfortably. He learned all the basic steps in a few minutes which I found amazing.

"Come on! Show me the tricks!" He said when I showed him one of my favorite tricks. It has been so long since I used this board and the feeling that I lost is slowly coming back.

Its true that there is no specific reason as to why I hate skateboarding. It came to me naturally when Sicheng died because whenever I skate, it doesn't feel the same. Those memories I made with him was the reason why I avoid it because I know I can't recreate those memories anymore.

Just like what Donghyuck told me, we shouldn't dwell in the past no matter how much joy it brings you. Donghyuck is here with me now to help me overcome what I hate. I personally don't think its working but I do realize that the enthusiasm was coming back. Even though its not as much as when I first started, I'm still glad that he was able to help.

We spent half and hour on this and Donghyuck decided to stop because he fell too many times. "So, why do you like skateboarding? Doesn't it hurt? You keep falling and you hurt yourself just to learn a trick that won't bring you anywhere,"

"Hey that was offensive," I chuckled. "That's the point of skateboarding. You push yourself to become better and make you realize that the mistakes you've done, they might not be erasable, but it teaches you that mistakes are meant to happen to achieve what you want,"

"Ah- wise words coming from a 17 year old," he squints his eyes, scratching his neck in the most sassy way. "That's mean," I pushed him to the side gently but he exaggerated by falling from the bench. He looks at me in disgust when I started laughing at him.

"Are you making me the bad guy now?" I continued to laugh at how his facial expression became sad in a second. "Okay you can stop now," he climbs back to sit on the bench. "Now tell me your story,"

"Oh yeah," as soon as he said that, I felt my hands starting to sweat. I begun telling him the story of how I started skateboarding, from when I came out to Sicheng, and when he brought me out to celebrate my coming out.

It started with a lot of stutters, but Donghyuck held my hand and I became comfortable around him. It was calming to tell him my story, because for once, I finally had someone to tell my story to. He smiled throughout the story, putting my head on his shoulder.

He wiped away the single tear that escaped from my eyes. Donghyuck didn't judge me for the way I tell my story or for the fact that I'm actually sensitive. It wasn't really my thing to have deep talks with a friend because I hate ruining the mood that used to be bright and colourful.

But when I talked to Donghyuck, the atmosphere around me didn't change even for a single bit. It wasn't as dull as I thought and the grey world seemed brighter than before. The male lift up the burden on my body without even trying, but I'm glad that he came into my life.

"Sungchan, I know moving on from someone's death is very hard. Those memories must've been precious to you, weren't they?" He brushed my hair gently, making me tired from all the crying. "People will leave you eventually, may it be out of sudden or not. You can't tell them to stay, because its their choice. If that is what makes them happy, then you have to let them go. Would you rather see them live a miserable life or see them happy on their own?"

"Of course seeing them happy. The thing is, I'm not sad about his absence. I mean, I am, but its so hard to get rid of this feeling that I don't understand. Its so complicated to describe it," I muttered. He looks up to the sky and I did the same. Pigeons were flying over us in a group, but one of them was left behind.

"Its because your emotions are playing with your brain. You might feel angry and sad at the same time, but you don't know which one is actually controlling the way you feel, therefore, its hard for you to express yourself. It takes time, but right now, you don't have to think about that. Lets go home and get some rest, alright. I have a plan tomorrow, and I want you to get ready before 10am okay?"

"Okay,"