SAUDADE - P. PEVENSIE (3)

L - P

Letter six.

Status: delivered and read.

Current location: Peter's box of letters.

Dearest Peter,

Children? Already?

I'm only joking. I would love to have a family with you. I've only ever really thought about girls' names. Forgive me for that. So far I have Aludra, Anna, Marie, and Camilla. Let me know what you think of those. I'll get back to you on the boys' names when I come up with some.

Forgive my language, but dear God I miss you so much. I still sleep in your bed and shirt. I've managed to pry myself from it during the day, which I'm sure Macready is very happy about, but I sleep in and go to bed early. I think the professor understands. I hope he does. I feel so alone here.

I have these nightmares now, too. They always end in your death, and I either have to watch or have to be the one to kill you. I wake up crying most nights. I try to sit and stay awake for as long as I can now. I hate those dreams. They make me think of how far away I am from you. You could die at any time and I wouldn't be able to be there. Forgive me for that. I only wish to tell someone my fears, and you're the one I trust most in this world.

I wish you were here. I wish you could hold me. I miss your laugh, your smile, your eyes, your kiss, your voice, your touch. I miss every single thing about you. I even miss you crying. That says a lot about how much I miss you. I wish you were here.

I do the same thing you do with the pillow. I've taken to screaming into it when I feel my lowest, which I actually find helps. It's better than doing anything I'll regret later. Or, at least that's what I keep telling myself.

You're my home, Peter. And my heart. And my soul. My everything, if you will. I love you. I miss you. I'll see you soon, my love.

Yours for all eternity,

Lilith

♔

heh. here's #2 for the day. 

i'm going to do facts/headcanons at the end of this. i'm very excited.

i hope you have a great day/evening!

- cecily <3