SAUDADE - P. PEVENSIE (3)

C - L

Letter twenty-one.

Status: delivered.

Current location: Lilith's grave.

Dear mum,

This is the stupidest thing I've ever done. Marie thinks because you liked letters so much that we should both write you some. I think it's a waste of time. Always have, always will.

I'm sure you're with dad in Aslan's country now. How is he? I still can't believe you didn't tell him about me. I hope he still loves me. I hope you do, too.

Aunt Sue doesn't seem to. She's always dumping her stupid baby on Marie and I. I could care less if she thinks it'll be a good learning experience. I think it sucks.

I do get to hear Marie tell Anne-Lucy stories of Narnia, though. I like those. And the song. Marie said dad used to sing it to her when she was small. Would he have sung it to me? I hope so. It's very calming. I usually fall asleep by the end of it. She'll come over and brush through my hair until Aunt Sue comes back. It's actually very nice. I'll never admit it, though. Only to you.

I went through the letters. Grandmother had some from you as well. Aunt Sue found them for me and let me read them. You were very polite. Some of those must have been from around when you were my age, right? You spoke very properly for a fifteen-year-old. You and dad were very in love. It almost hurt to read them. Marie won't. I keep telling her that she'd like them, but she just says no and hides in her room. She keeps reading that copy of A Tale of Two Cities dad got you. She says he left notes and an inscription on it. It makes her feel more connected to you both. Apparently. I just liked the letters.

I can't even begin to imagine what you went through, mum. Loving someone that much, then losing them? It would break anyone. You were so strong. I love you.

Please give me a sign. I don't mean to be rude, or angry. It just happens. I sometimes steal a blanket from your bed and cry into it. Marie wears a lot of the older dresses you kept. I suppose they both work in some ways, but I hear her crying well into the night most of the time. I try to cover my head with my pillow, but then I'm only met with my own sobs. I wish you were still here. You always told me to let the emotions out. I still take that advice, but it's hard not having you here to hold me.

Will you say hello to dad, Aunt Lucy and Uncle Ed for me? Tell them I love them even though I never met them. I hope they love me too. I love you. I miss you.

Love,

Caspian Pevensie

♔

i found it fun to write as caspian.

 i hope you have a great day/evening!

- cecily <3