Pierced Heart ✓

14. Make the things clear

"I remembered you when I even forget myself. Then how can I forget you when I remember everything Sanskar." She thinks and closed her eyes. The tears that her eyes were holding fell from her eyes.

She thinks how hard she was trying to maintain that normal expression on her face and behaving like nothing happened in her life since the moment she opened her eyes in hospital and find Riya sitting on the chair. In a matter of seconds she faced the reality and pretend so strong like nothing was broken. But each and every moment she was breaking more. She remembered everything. Their moments, love and happiness. But his love was nothing but a revenge for her sister. She feared to love but he made her believe in that. She trusted him more than anything but he broke it.
Two years, she spent those two years without him with pain and sufferings. Her life was aimless. All she could remember was his death and her helplessness to save him. After Riya, she felt someone truly cared for her. But it was her misconception. Was all those moments was lie? Did he never feel anything for her? His eyes showed that he did. Her heart still wanted to believe him but the fear of bitter experiences never leave us alone.
In those two years, she just lived with a lie that he died. And truth was it was his revenge. To see her hurt. To see her in pain. And then he came again to save her? Help her? couldn't he just let her suffer? Couldn't he just let her die like the way she was? A mentally challenged girl, who was living a aimless life and trying to find him everytime, who was fighting with herself everyday without him. Atleast it would have been better of what she was suffering now. Facing the reality and could do nothing. She didn't even have courage to ask him questions. His presence was still giving hopes to her heart.

When she saw him talking with Riya, she felt her heart skipped a beat. If just the situation would have been something else then she wished, she could hug him tightly and say that she is back to him. That she loves him. Thank you for being with her. Being her cure. But what She should have said when his betrayal was playing in front of her eyes? She masked all the emotions inside her and met him like it was first time.

The moments she spent with him in this one month flashes in front of her eyes. How he used to handle her, hugged her, console her. How she used to hug him like he is her saviour. His presence felt soothing. Saving her. The way he used to kiss her forehead making her feel relaxed. The way he looked at her with care and... Love? Can she say that, it was love? May be his guilt. Pity over her condition. Still, she could feel his warmth. His eyes used to hold a pain. Her heart still feels that he loves her.
And when she acted normal to him. She remembers she saw his eyes were saying something but she guessed, once again she was following her heart that lead her the path of pain. In these six days, she was just thinking about their past and this one month. She missed him but that she was doing since last two years right? And without any hope. She wanted to see him. Talk to him. Be with him just the way they were. But how? When she meant nothing. She tried her best to hide all the pain and burry them deep inside her heart. She could only think about him and she couldn't able to live there. So, she just decided to leave to India.

And then she thinks about the  most recent moment, when she was waiting for the flight announcement trying to distract herself and reading magzine but her mind was lost somewhere else. Thinking about him. Even though all that happened in her life, still she wanted to see him once before leaving. Even though he never loved her but she did and his one sight will be enough for her to live. May be they are never meant to be together but just his one glimpse and she will feel little better, a little peace in her heart that was wrenching with pain. When like god heard her and he was there. As usual she talked to him casually. She looked at him like it was last time she was seeing him and may be never see him again. But thankfully Sanskar didn't noticed her gaze. When she and Riya were walking, her heart felt heavy like something has left behind and she knew it was him. Her eyes started getting watery but she blinked and stopped. Turning around she walked back to him and hugged him as an excuse of thank you. Well, She was genuinely thank you for what he did for her and Riya. But for the time, she just wanted to feel calm. She hugged him slowly but it was enough for her to feel heaven like always. And when he hugged her back, she tried her best to hold her emotions. Breaking the hug, she walked from there giving a last glance to him and never turn back as she knew she was getting weak.