Redamancy - R. Lupin

Chapter 32 - Belamour

Belamour - (n.) one who is loved; a beloved person.

"Remus,

I'm sorry for not writing. I'm staying with my aunt in France right now. I can't be in that house right now, I'm sorry. I hope you're okay. I don't know when I will be back, so don't count the days. I know you're worried, but please take care of the Order and Sirius.

-Evangeline.

Remus sighed and set the painfully short letter on the counter. Nearly three weeks of radio silence from her and all she sends is six sentences of vague words. He didn't know how she was doing, she hadn't said, but he wanted to be there for her in any way he could. But, he couldn't.

Elio had told him to give her space which Remus had no choice but to do; he didn't know where her aunts house was. So, he was left to do damage control for Sirius.

To give him credit, Sirius did his best to help out in the Order and also with Harry through letters who was suffering a great deal with the public return of You-Know-Who, but Remus knew him better than anyone. He could see beneath the mask that his best friend was crumbling, struggling to hold the pieces together. But, because Sirius didn't want to talk about it, Remus could only do his best to be supportive and lend a hand when needed.

Overall, this left Remus feeling absolutely useless.

The only time he wasn't feeling that way was when there was missions to go on, something there was an abundance of now that everyone knew You-Know-Who had returned. While he was thankful for the distraction, he wasn't thankful for the near death experiences of dueling Death Eaters.

Remus dropped his head into his hands and sighed again. He was glad to have received word from her, he just wished Evangeline had written more; or better yet, she had come home. Home wasn't the right word, no. His shabby cabin that he owned wasn't home, not at all, and while Grimmauld Place was heaps better it wasn't home either. Though, with Evangeline, any place in the world could feel like home.

"What's that?"

Glancing up from his moping, Remus met the eyes of Sirius who appeared worse for wear, the unders of his eyes darkened with lack of sleep and his curly hair messy and unkept. Sticking out the 'letter', he handed it to him. "Letter from Evangeline."

Sirius's eyes widened and he snatched the letter up, his gaze scanning hurriedly over the too-few words scrawled in her slanted, cursive writing. With a huff, he dropped it down onto the table.

"I'd hardly call that a letter. It's more a note than anything," he grumbled, slumping down into the chair across Remus.

"Yeah, but it's better than nothing," Remus replied before a silence fell over the two.

Without Evangeline's bubbly energy and Lillian's witty remarks, the house felt too quite and too still. Both of them noticed this, but neither could really bare to speak about it. In fact, it was rare they spoke about the two at all.

"Do you have another mission anytime soon?" Sirius questioned, his tone dull and bored.

"Tomorrow, I believe. Going on a patrol in Diagon Alley, nothing too dangerous or exciting," he responded, lifting his head and sitting back. He was about to speak again, ask if Sirius wanted to go out as Padfoot later when he piped up suddenly.

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"How do you keep yourself from going to France to see her?" Sirius asked, his voice filled with a sadness Remus unfortunately knew.