𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝟐𝟎𝟎𝟎 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 | 𝐀𝐎𝐓

Chapter 7

I knew I wasn't going to be given to the Military Police, after all, Armin would be sure to know who the Female Titan is beforehand, so I wasn't that worried, but in my chest there's a pain that doesn't leave me. Anxiety. I didn't miss it at all. I knew all of this would happen, and I let it. My dreams can't be changed, it's always them appearing in flashes, their faces, the blood and the smell. No matter how hard I train, write letters or draw I can't forget it. My nightmares are all about them, then the thought of my family dying-- No, I can't think like that. I have to stop, sleep and be calm. After washing all the dirt off me with a hot bath, I got dressed in casual clothes and went down to the mess hall. It was dimly lit and completely empty with cups of freshly made tea on the table in the far corner.

I walked over slowly and confused, and just as I was about to take a seat, Levi entered. "You were still training?" I still had trouble looking at him, I couldn't help but feel guilty and angry over his squad's death. I knew it, I was there, and did nothing, only stared as they were killed. I can't be called a friend, because I'm not deserving of it, I clenched my fist in anger until my knuckles turned white.

When Levi noticed that I wasn't paying attention he got impatient. "(Y/N)".

"Yes, I was still training. Had nothing to do..." I was being rude towards my Captain, but dammit, I'm furious and still capable of crying at any moment. "I have to do something to forget, and I don't like drinking..." The room was in complete silence and I can't look at his face, I'm ashamed of my choices even if it was the way to the true ending. I know Levi like the back of my hand, and I'm surprised he can know someone in so little time. "Drink some tea. It'll help calm your nerves." I took the cup slowly, bringing it to me and gazing down at it intently, I took a sip, but nothing more. This was too awkward. I was never this uncomfortable with him before, of course there was always the squad, mostly Petra and Eren, yet I still hadn't looked at him.

Clearly, he realized this, of course he did, he's Levi. I hate it when he reads me like a book, he always manages to notice something is wrong with me since the first day.

"Look at me, (Y/N)." I pursed my lips and so I did, and god he looked gorgeous. I was so distracted with my big lie, my cousins and my training that I didn't have time to look at him. His hair was a bit disheveled and he still looked good wearing a loose grey top with casual black pants. I could feel my palms getting sweaty as he looked at me with his piercing grey eyes. "Captain, I don't want to talk, can we... Just... Sit?" He continued to stare at me, and after what felt like hours, he sighed and ran his hand through his hair aggressively.

He clenched his jaw and I could tell he was angry, not necessarily at me but at everything. How unfair life was towards him, despite his harshness, Levi does have a sense of empathy. I knew he didn't want to push me and this made me feel guilty.

"Thanks for the tea, it's nice." A great conversation starter, (Y/N). You're officially an idiot. "You're welcome." I guess it wasn't that bad. He hissed in pain and his hand went up to his left thigh. "Captain?" He didn't look at me, in fact, he completely ignored me. "You should go to the infirmary." I advised. I knew the great value he placed on preserving human life but this was ridiculous. "There were more serious cases." Levi muttered and I shook my head. "You're hurt. I will get the first aid kit." I was already running down the stairs to the infirmary.

Maybe he got hurt saving me and Eren, but I don't remember a scene where he gets hurt by Annie, I have to ask Haco if he saw anything in battle. When I came back he had already rolled up his trousers and was examining the massive purple bruise forming on his ankle. "Captain, this is bad."

"As I said, it's nothing. Leave the kit on the table, I can do it myself."

"Nonsense. You can barely bend forward, I will do it."