Kylie & Jack 1: Humble Beginnings

48. Mike

Saturday hit them before anyone knew what was happening and there they all were, sitting around the table chatting, laughing, drinking and waiting for their meals to arrive.

Mike, in true form, had complained like an old man all week about the fuss everyone made over him. Kylie, in her true form as the youngest sibling, posted a hundred or so photos of Mike on Facebook in the daggiest possible post, tagging the whole family (and yes, Jack too). Kylie just sat back and waited for Mike to unleash his middle aged sarcasm on the post, so that she could laugh at him in the comments.

Kylie wasn't the only one 'torturing' him. Amy went out of her way to make her kids sing him the most cringe–worthy but cute rendition of Happy Birthday and sent the video to him. Mike's grumbling had not been neglected by his daughter either, who went to school and told everyone that her dad was an old man.

"Ah! That explains the weird message I got from Hannah the other day! She finally clicked that Lizzie's my niece and was asking me what the go was with her parents!" Kylie laughed when Mike told her.

"So I explained to Han that Liz only has the one dad, her 'new uncle' is my boyfriend, not yours and that she calls you an old man because you act like one, you gronk!"

"S'all in good fun,"

"Yeah, yeah mate. You know Lizzie's got you down pat."

"Learnt from the best, didn't she?" Mike said cheerfully.

"Hah, yeah – you know she'll out–argue you before she's ten –"

"– parenting done right, then!"

Everyone continued to laugh while they waited for their food to arrive. Jack had gotten dragged away from Kylie by Lachy and Lizzie who dared him to twelve successive rounds of thumb wars; Shaz and Alicia were cackling and filming them. After Lachy screamed with glee having won the last round, Shaz bounded up to Kylie, tapping her on the shoulder until she stopped talking to Mike.

"What?!" Kylie snapped. That incessant tapping always annoyed her easily, but when she swivelled in her seat and saw Shaz bouncing on the balls of her feet and trying not to laugh, regretting snapping. Shaz didn't take any notice and handed Kylie her phone, to show her the video of Jack and Lachy playing thumb wars.

"Who won?" Kylie asked, looking up at Shaz.

"Lachy did, easily – but Uncle Jack reckons he went easy on him!"

Kylie cackled, "as if! Nah, Lachy won that fair and square – Uncle Jack's hopeless!"

Shaz giggled, turning bright red seeing Jack turn in his seat to see who called his name.

"Who said I'm hopeless?" Jack said brightly in the direction of Kylie's cackles and Shaz's giggles.

"Auntie Kylz said you're hopeless because Lachy keeps beating you at thumb wars!" Shaz answered between giggles.

"That's rich coming from the woman who refuses point blank to accept I beat her at Trivial Pursuit last week!" Jack teased at Kylie with a loud wolfish howl of laughter. Shaz and Alicia's jaws dropped hard at Jack.

"You beat Auntie Kylz at Trivial Pursuit?! Oh my gawd, tell me that there's, like, a video of it! Nobody has ever beaten her before!" Alicia gasped, thoroughly stunned.

Jack cackled, turning to raise his eyebrows at Kylie in a shamelessly playful way. There was evidence, but none that they could share with the kids.

"That so?"

"I still maintain that you misread the question about the 2007 NRL Premiership! Technically –"

"– ah –" Jack interjected loudly, pointing to her.