Time to take a ✨oneshot✨

cold

In general, it was a process. A development. There was, however, one day when he broke.

He'd been there for two weeks and god, they weren't letting him do anything, go anywhere. Not yet at least. He wasn't far enough in his training but he knew he'd have to kill someone soon.

Jonathan and Lin were eating takeout in the main room and Jon's thoughts were becoming too much.

"I'll be right back," he choked out, cracking a shoulder, a habit he'd picked up from Miranda himself.

"Where do you think you're going?" he demanded, noodles muffling his words.

"Taking a shit, care to join me?" he called back and Lin flinched at the crack in his voice. But who would care about Jonathan Groff? He turned back around to finish his noodles.

Meanwhile Jonathan sat on the toilet, lips pursed together so hard to prevent a sob from escaping. His eyes were fogging up and he exhaled forcefully.

He didn't know if he could do this. Everything was just. So much.....

He didn't wanna feel. Hated feeling. Hated thoughts. Hated Lin, of all things terrible.

Then he froze. Lin. Miranda.

How did he do it?

He thought back on previous days- sure he'd get angry. Well. That was an understatement. But tears? Smiles? He hadn't seen those yet. He recalled a sorrowful frown one day- and that damn menacing smirk, of course.

For him, emotions came and went in seconds. As if there was a switch.

"I can turn it off," he gulped. He stood up, turning to look in the mirror, leaning his hands against the counter. The turmoil in his stomach that made him wanna barf seconds prior was gone and he tilted his head. "Is it really that easy?"

With that, he wiped the rest of his tears away, walking out, down the hallway back to the main room. He chuckled when he found Miranda sitting, one foot on the seat of the chair, knee tucked in as he chewed a thumbnail.

"Why do you sit like that?"

"Fuck you," was all he said as he stared off into space.

"Y'know," he started as he sat across from him. He paused just long enough for Miranda to raise an eyebrow and he smirked devilishly at the reactions he could get out of him. "I could just leave. Anytime," he leaned in. "And there would be nothing you could do about it."

Lin leaned forward, crossing his arms to rest on the table as he let his right leg fall to the ground. He knew a playful tone when he heard it.

"I know you're trying to figure me out," Jon said, point blank. Lin scowled, sitting back in his chair. He was stroking his chin thoughtfully, scanning Jonathan's face and then-

He tilted his chin up the slightest bit, a small half grin. But he stayed silent, apart from a light chuckle as he stood up to stretch, going into his office and shutting the door behind him.