Time to take a ✨oneshot✨

Finally

A/N: flashbacks/confessions au, also there's usage of the f slur imma censor it

November 13th, 1985

"Hey dad I have a question."

Luis looked up from his pasta, an expectant look on his face.

"What's a gay?" This caught his dad's attention.

"A gay?"

"Yeah." His parents shared a look. The table went quiet.

"Why do you ask?"

"I was playing in the snow with James and there were two guys holding hands. Then somebody pushed them apart and called them gays."

"Did anything else happen?"

"Yeah but you told me not to say that word...."

"It's okay to say it right now."

"She told them they were going to hell."

"Well don't worry, they're not. At least not for being gay. Being gay means you love people of the same gender." Little Lin tilted his head in confusion.

"I love James. Am I gay?"

"It's more like the way I love your mother. The kind of person you get married to and wanna start a family with."

"So why did she say that to them?" Jeez this kid had a lot of questions tonight.

"A lot of people don't understand it and people are often afraid of what they don't understand."

"Oh."

February 4th, 1990

"Dad, what's a fag*ot?" He'd barged into his father's office, causing Luis to jump.

"Where did you hear that word, Lin Manuel?"

"Oh! Well I signed up for the drama club and some seventh grader called me a fag*ot." Luis got up, moving to give his son a hug.

"I'm so sorry that happened." Lin was confused again.

"Why?"

"Remember when you asked about gay people? It was awhile ago."

"Yeah I think so. People who like the same gender right?"

"Yeah well that word is a slur people use against gay people. It's not something you should take lightly." Lin stepped back.

"So why did they call me that when I signed up for theater?"

"People see it as something feminine, I guess? Anytime a guy does anything remotely feminine people assume he's gay."

"Oh."

April 15th, 1995

The curtains closed and they'd successfully gotten through opening night. This was the first play Lin got to direct and he prided himself in that.

He ran into the dressing room to find his best friend, Ryan, already dressed. He turned around.

"Oh hey Lin! What's up?" Lin walked over, bringing him into a warm embrace.

"You did great out there. I'm so proud of you!" They stepped apart enough to look into each other's eyes. Lin had never felt so much love for a person.

Something in his brain clicked. Love.

He looked down at Ryan's lips and moved in to kiss him. Ryan pushed him away. He was left dumbstruck.

"Dude, wh-what are you doing?"

"I-I'm sorry I just thought...."

"Lin.... I'm sorry.... I like girls."