Groff was crying. Again. Why was he crying so often these days? Corey was still working. He'd be working for the next three hours so Jonathan was left to his own thoughts.
He loved Corey. He did. It's just- he didn't know what it was. It didn't feel right.
Not in the sense that he couldn't trust Corey- Corey would never hurt him. Just- maybe he wasn't the right person for him? It didn't feel right.
He got into bed. Maybe he'd take a nap. For a while all he did was stare up at the ceiling. Thinking, zoning out. If Corey wasn't the one then who was?
Did he really have anybody?
His vision fogged up with tears at the thought. He didn't wanna be alone. Didn't wanna be lonely.
At this point, he was.
And so he did the best thing he could think of whenever he got lonely. Open his phone. Open google. Search for Lin's Twitter account. In general, Lin himself was enough to make his day better. His radiant energy, his contagious giggles.
The silent reassurance constantly emanating from him that told you you were beautiful and important and meant everything to him. That was amazing.
Of course, he didn't feel like getting out of bed to see him, Twitter was the next best thing. God, half of Lin's being was poured into that app. He liked looking through his good morning and good night tweets, funny videos of Seb or Frankie.
He came across videos of him singing, playing the piano, hanging out with his kids- Jon always thought Lin made the best dad.
When he scrolled back up to the top, he noticed that Lin had posted a new tweet- or rather a retweet. He'd retweeted a picture his dad posted of him from when they'd all gone to dc.
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Groff took a screenshot. Lin looked so precious in the picture, so giddy. Not to mention how good he looked in an actual suit.
After a couple minutes, Jonathan realized how long he'd been staring at the photo and silently chided himself.
He's married, you idiot. And straight. And you have a boyfriend.
He turned over to cry in his pillow.
If Lin was married, why did Jon's heart tell him he was the one?
A couple minutes later he dozed off, having soaked the pillow.
He woke up to a light shake of his shoulders, cracking an eye open to see Corey. How long had he been asleep?
"Hey honey. I brought dinner," he offered. Groff groaned, still waking up and smiled, slumping out of bed. When Groff turned around, Corey noticed the faded tear tracks down his cheeks. "Jon?" he looked up at him, still a bit bleary eyed, "Are you okay? What's going on?" he asked, using a sleeve to wipe the excess tears away. Groff snapped awake, helping him out until his face was dry.
