Good Riddance (DS #2)

Chapter 28 (Part 1)

Chapter 28:

The Validation

(Part 1)

"PASENSYA na, Jack. Mabuti kang tao. Kailangan ko lang mamili ngayon at mag-prioritize."

"I'm sorry, Jacquin. You're a nice guy. I just think I need to focus on myself more."

"Please, don't ever feel bad about yourself. You've been the greatest guy. It's me who wants to take a path different from yours. We won't work out together."

It has been the the usual "it's not you, it's me" kind of break-up line Jack heard from his past relationships.

At maluwag niyang tinanggap iyon mula sa tatlong babaeng minsan inasahan niyang baka magparamdam sa kanya ng pagmamahal na ibinigay niya noon kay Blair.

Jack realized he's been dating to see what kind of love he can receive. Rather than what he can give them.

Dahil kahit pala hindi siya nagtanim ng sama ng loob sa nangyari sa kanila ni Blair, naka-apekto pa rin pala 'yon sa buong pagkatao niya.

Since he worked out on his physical looks, suddenly, women swarmed around him. Na hindi na siya kailangang maglabas ng effort para mapansin. He was aware that he's been getting a lot of attention. Hindi na siya nilalagpas-lagpasan lang. Siya na ang pinupuntahan.

It kind of boost something in him. Somehow, somewhere between improving himself and growing his confidence, he found external validation from people other than his family. Dati, ayaw niya ng atensyon. But during his healing process, he craved for it.

What Blair snatched out from him, he subtly looked out from other women.

The feeling of being still relevant.

Being valid. Being important.

That Jack is not just a kind son, a patient brother, and a smart student. But also, that he's a man worthy to be loved and cared for by a partner.

"I didn't enter relationships to move on from you, Blair. Or to forget you. I dated other women so I can satisfy my own feeling of being needed. That other women can still love me, care for me that way I do to them. Once upon a time, ginusto ko ng kapalit sa pagmamahal na binibigay ko. Gusto ko ring may makuha."

Napataas ng kilay si Blair. Hininto nito ang pagkain ng spaghetti at ininom ang wine. "What are you talking about? Bakit bigla kang nagsasalita diyan?"

Jack softly smiled. "You've been quiet since we got out from the bookstore." After that encounter with Hank—Blair's ex-boyfriend, specifically. "Hindi ka kumikibo at nagsasalita. Kaya naisip kong magkuwento."

Umikot ang mga mata nito. "Whatever happen to 'Are you okay' question?"

He chuckled and sipped his iced tea. He knows she's not okay. Kaya hindi na lang nagtanong si Jack. Ibinaba niya ang baso ng iced tea at hiniwa sa limang piraso ang quarter-pounder na cheeseburger.

"Normal lang siguro 'yan," sabi ni Blair, iniikot-ikot nito ang tinidor sa spaghetti.

"Ang alin?"

"Na gusto mo ng validation from other women," anito. Ah, nakinig pala ito sa sinabi niya kanina. "Tao ka pa rin naman. And I think it's normal wanting to be taken care of. Like, anong benefits ba makukuha mo sa isang relationship, hindi ba? Hindi naman natatapos sa gusto mo lang siya, gusto ka lang niya."

Tinignan niya ito. "Once, I never thought of the benefits that I would and could get. Hindi ko naisip kung anong makukuha ko sa girlfriend ko. Basta magbibigay ako ng pagmamahal na kaya ko. At sa lahat ng naging relasyon ko, doon ako naging pinakamasaya."