Path Of Shadows: The Awakening

Chapter 31

As I drive I think about this morning. I know I say I don't care but really I do. Seeing Damien with that girl really hurt me. There is nothing he can say to me that will make me feel otherwise. All I can see in my head right now is him and her and it makes me even more angry. Seeing that, today of all days, the day of my mom's funeral. The day we all say our final goodbyes makes me even more mad.

I should be crying but honestly I'm so overwhelmed with anger right now that honestly it's all I can feel. Maybe that is what I need today so I don't fall completely apart. When I pull into the funeral home and go inside they have everything set up perfectly. Exactly the way I wanted it, how Lizzie would have wanted it.

Then I see her, there in the front of the room. A large photo of her to the left of her casket. The casket has lilies and lilac flowers surrounding it. I gulp hard and walk down the isle, up to her. They did her make-up so beautifully that she looks like she is just sleeping. I feel a tear fall down my face. The funeral director walks up to me and I quickly wipe the tear away.

"How does everything look?" He asks.

"Amazing. You guys really did a beautiful job. She would have loved it. Thank you." I say.

"If you need anything at all, don't hesitate to let us know. We're here for you and to help this very difficult day run a little smoother." He says.

I nod then he goes back over by the door to wait for everyone to arrive. Shortly after, Nathan brings Izzy in. He brings her over to see Lizzie. Kaden and Dane come in next, following them are Jàime and Tate. I sit in the front row and watch Nathan, he and Izzy stand up saying their final goodbyes. Everything goes smoothly until Izzy laughs and says "Mommy's sleeping." and she tries to wake her up. She gets upset when she won't wake up. Nathan tells her "Honey, mommy is gone, baby. She's in Heaven now." Then it really sets in for Izzy. She cries harder than I have ever seen her cry.

Up until that point all my anger held me together but now all I feel is overwhelming sadness and I need to get out of here. I plow past Kaden and Dane and exit out of the back door. I walk around out back in the parking lot trying to calm myself. Looking up to the sky as the tears flood my eyes. I know once my tears fall I won't be able to stop. I cover my mouth and nose with my hand. I make a sad, frustrated grunt then the tears flood out of my eyes. I cry, hard, worse than I ever have. Kaden comes out of the door and immediately hugs me as I sob.

"I can't do this. I can't see Izzy like that." I say, all choked up.

"That is gonna be the hardest part of it. Seeing those you love go through it. But Izzy needs you now more than ever. And you need her." Kaden says as he grabs my face and stares into my eyes.

"Dane, Jàime, Tate and I are all here for you. I'll hold your hand if you want and if you ever feel like it's too much, just squeeze my hand or something and I will get you out of there. Okay?" Kaden says then he kisses my forehead. I nod. He wipes my tears away and fixes my make-up for me the best he can.

"Let's get back in there." Kaden says as he grabs my hand.

He leads me back inside. Izzy is still upset but she isn't saying anything. Kaden walks me up to the front and sits down with me next to Nathan who has Izzy on his lap. Izzy reaches for me and I take her from Nathan. She wraps her tiny arms around my neck and hugs me tight. Her little breath catching because she was crying so hard and it breaks my heart. I hug her back and try my best not to cry. Jàime, Tate and Dane sit behind me. I feel all of their hands on my shoulders.

"I'm gonna step out for a second." Nathan says as he stands up.

I look up at him and nod to let him know I heard him. More people flood in, coming and going, saying their goodbyes. When Nathan finally comes back in he is with Jenise and Gemini. They sit in the back talking for a bit before they come up, hug me and tell me they're sorry. I tell them they don't have to sit in the back but they tell me they're just coming to pay their respects and are leaving. Which I understand because Gemini might be able to move around still but she is sick, she gets tired easily.