The Dancer's Secret (Phantom of the Opera Phanfiction)

Pleasant Mornings

 Clementine

My eyes opened slowly, not recognizing where I was. I took a deep breath in and stretched slightly before closing my eyes once more. I had not slept that well in years. I tried to recall what had happened the previous night. I had told Erik everything, and he had supported me. He had comforted me, held me close to him and stroked my hair lovingly.

I smiled at the thought.

I remembered how he had hugged me tightly as if he would never let go. My heart sped up and a wide smile made its way to my cheeks. As I became more aware of my surroundings, I realized that I was not in the ballet dormitories, nor was I in Erik's bed where I normally slept when I stayed over.

I opened my eyes again, this time more focused on determining where I was. My heart raced and I felt my face turned a vibrant shade of red as realization struck me.

I was laying on Erik's chest.

My eyes widened and I sat up slightly, panicking inside until I focused on Erik's face. I felt so embarrassed. I had fallen asleep on him! He was forced to lay on the couch and now his back would probably be very sore when he woke up. Why hadn't he moved me? He was certainly strong enough to carry me.

My body was now fully aware of everything, including the fact that his arms that were wrapped around me and resting on my lower back. His head lay on the armrest and his mask was slightly crooked on his face. One of my arms was wrapped around his neck while another rested on his chest.

He probably didn't want to wake me up by moving me, so he stayed where he was. I mustn't wake him then, he needed his rest and I had to repay him for being to so considerate of me. Why did he have to be so charming? I shouldn't feel this way towards him! I knew I liked him, I knew that I felt things for him, but those words no longer seemed strong enough. The word 'like' or 'feelings' didn't sound right anymore.

I couldn't love him, it was too soon! I met him only three months ago. Ah, yes. That always seemed to be my excuse, huh? That I hadn't known him long enough. Looking back on it, that seemed to only be an excuse and nothing else. 

And it worked for so long.

For a man who only knew me 3 months, he seemed to know more about me than even my dearest friends who had known me for 4 years. Why was I so scared of loving him that I had to trick myself with petty justifications. 

And that was just it. I was scared of loving him. So scared of getting rejected, or hurt. Perhaps I was Scared that my love would be unrequited like Phillip's love for me.

I shook my thoughts away, instead turning my attention to Erik. I rested my head back on his chest and gazed up at him. His heartbeat was steady and therapeutic. I could fall asleep again just listening to it, but my eyes couldn't bear to be torn away from the sleeping man in front of me.

Well, underneath me.

I simply watched him, engraving every last detail of this moment in my mind. His calm expression, his jawline sticking out from underneath his mask, his disheveled hair, and at last, his soft lips. Yes, I remembered exactly that. They were so soft and sweet, yet strong and passionate. Those lips that left me forever in awe.

My mind replayed the scene in my head, from the moment he kissed me, to the moment I pulled away. God, why did I pull away? What would have happened if I had continued? My face went red, my imagination creating vivid and inappropriate details in my head.

I shook my thoughts away a second time, deciding to just relish this moment. I wanted to stay here forever. I enjoyed everything that was currently happening, and I couldn't believe It was me inside Erik's arms. His arms. They were wrapped so delicately around me unlike last night when they held me so tightly.