BBS One-shots...cause, yeah(TAKING REQUESTS!!!)

Can't Get Over Him(DaithiDeTerroriser)

Song is Not Over You by Gavin DeGraw. 

Brian's POV-

I can't get over him. I just can't.

It's like that Spiderman meme, everywhere I go I see his face.

It hurts. Every time I see a dog that looks like Joe or Tony a new bolt of pain stabs my heart. Every soft breeze that tousles my hair, every bright sunny day, makes me shrivel up and die a bit inside. Every flower, every tree and bush and plant. Every pond, river, lake, and fountain. I see him everywhere. Every table set for two, every couple holding hands. Every deep voice makes me turn, hoping. Dreading. I can't get him out of my hand. Everywhere I go outside, there he is. My house isn't the safest place either, but it's better than outside. So...

I haven't left my house in nearly two months. I can't get over him. He was my everything. He still is. I don't know why he broke up with me, other than "I need some space."

Fuck that.

We weren't public with our relationship, only our friends knew about it, so we have to pretend everything is fine when we record. We've done two videos with each other since we broke up, and those were Among Us, where we didn't really have to talk. After those recording sessions, though, I'd collapse on my bed and cry my eyes out. My heart ached for the tall, handsome man I never deserved. Apparently, he finally realized he deserved better than me.

I knew that day would come eventually, but I wish it wouldn't have come so soon.

.

.

.

I hurt. I hurt badly. Most days I didn't even leave my bed. I barely ate, barely slept. My cheeks had sunken in and I had large bags under my eyes. My whole body ached, but especially my arms. I stared at the marks now, in the process of scarring over. There were old, silvery lines that already peaked out from under the new ones. Those were from when I was younger, back in school. When my demons had gripped me just as hard as they were now. I thought that was the lowest point in my life, but damb it I was wrong. David was my high, the pinnacle of my life. The sunlight to save me from my dark night.

But even the sun has to set sometimes.

I was supposed to record with David today. Another Among Us video with another Among Us mod. This one had a bunch of roles, some of which were absolutely terrible. It also had proximity chat. I wasn't looking forward to it. There were still a couple of hours until we were going to record, I should have just tried to sleep or something, but the closer I got to talking with him, seeing his face cam in Discord, even for a second...

I wasn't strong enough for this. I really wasn't. I pulled myself out of bed, nearly collapsing when I put weight on my feet. I grabbed the bedside table to steady myself, trembling. I forced my weak body forward. One step. Two. Three. Over and over until I finally got to the bathroom. I leaned heavily against the blood-stained counter, staring at the shell of who I used to be. I haven't even tried to clean up the mess I keep leaving. Not like anyone cares. I'm perfectly fine in everyone else's eyes. That's what I keep telling them, anyway.

I wonder when they'll figure out I've been lying. Probably when I finally die.

I reached out with one trembling hand, grabbing the razor off the counter. It had dried blood on it. I brought it to my left arm, dragging a line across the pale skin. Red immediately started flowing from it and I watched it, almost fascinated by the bright red substance that kept me alive. I only made a few cuts on each arm right now, I still needed to be coherent enough to record in a bit. Every thought dragged me even further into an abyss.