BBS One-shots...cause, yeah(TAKING REQUESTS!!!)

Shouldn't Haves(Terrorsnuckle)

Song is Before You Go by Lewis Capaldi.

Trigger warning-Suicide

Brock's POV-

Beep...Beep...Beep

Brian's slow, labored breathing filled the hospital room. The beeping of the heart monitor should've comforted me. It didn't. I gripped his bandaged hand, an IV sticking out from his mummified hand. Tears streamed down my face as I looked at him with sadness and regret.

I shouldn't have gotten so angry. I shouldn't have lost my cool. I should've let him explain. I shouldn't have told him to leave. I shouldn't have, I shouldn't have, I shouldn't have.

All of those shouldn't haves led to this. Brian's broken and mangled body lying in the hospital bed, barely clinging to life. The doctor said he had less than a 5% chance to live. My boyfriend of one and a half years may as well be in his grave now. I sobbed again.

We had been fighting, our first big one. I had found out he had been messaging a girl named Lanai. I didn't read the messages, but I got so upset. Was he cheating on me? He'd been disappearing more and more often. My brain jumped to conclusions. I had confronted him with them, already crying. I thought I had lost him to some woman. He tried to explain, saying something about how she was an old friend from college he had bumped into at a coffee shop one day. He said she was helping him with a surprise for my birthday. I hadn't believed him and yelled at him to get out so that I could calm down. He did, giving me one last, sad look before trudging out of the house.

The rational part of my brain told me that he would never cheat on me, that he was telling the truth and that I was making a big deal out of nothing. The irrational part of my brain knew my insecurities and fears, playing on them to make me think that the man I loved more than life itself had tossed me aside.

A little less than an hour had passed before I had gotten a phone call from an unknown number. I answered. My heart broke at the next words.

Are you Brock Barrus?

I am. Who's asking?

I'm sorry to tell you this sir, but Brian Hanby was just involved in a four car wreck. You were the emergency contact.

N-no. N-no, that c-can't b-be right. I-is he alright? Ple-ease tell m-me he's ok-kay.

I'm sorry, sir, but he sustained serious injuries. He was unconscious when he was pulled out of the car. He's being taken to the hospital now.

W-what h-happened?

A car ran a red light. T-boned him and sent him spinning into another car, which in turn hit another car and created a pile up.

Tha-ank you for n-notifying m-me.

I'm truly sorry sir.

He hung up and I let out the sobs I had held back in my throat.

My fault, my fault, my fault, MY fault, MY FAULT.

The words repeated themselves in my head, over and over. If I wouldn't have gotten angry, if I hadn't been so accusatory, if I hadn't sent him away...He'd still be here. He'd be FINE.

I rushed to the hospital as fast as I could. They told me the extent of his injuries. A host of broken bones, a multitude of cuts, bruises covering so much of his body. I gripped his hand tighter as I sit beside his bed. I'd been sitting there for nearly two hours, not moving. Watching, hoping, praying. Then, his breathing hitched. The heart monitor beeped once, twice, three times...

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

No. No. No, no, no, no, nononononononono NO!

I pressed the call button to signal the nurses and doctors. They came in quickly.

"Don't leave me Brian! Don't leave! Don't go! I love you!"

They pulled me out of the room. I stood like a statue against the constant flow of the hospital traffic. I stared at the door, heart clenched, tears streaming down my face.

Ten minutes later a nurse came out. The look on her face said it all.

"I'm sorry sir, but Brian Hanby didn't make it. His injuries were too great. I'm sorry."

She went down the hall to God knows where. My heart shattered. I felt detached from my body, immersed in my sorrow in grief. I didn't even realize I was moving, my feet taking me where my heart called for me to go. I only realized when the wind whipped through my hair, touseling it as the view of the city loomed before me. I stared at the city lights, the people scurrying six stories below me on their way to who knows where, living their lives.

But Brian's not.

I walked to the edge, un-noticed by the masses below. I turned my eyes to the sky. Rain clouds were forming at an alarmingly quick rate, and lightning flashed between the clouds. A storm was coming. Tears streamed down my face, soon joined by the rain that poured from the sky, as if it knew that an amazing, sweet, funny, handsome man had just been lost today. It was like it was sharing my grief.

"I shouldn't have gotten so mad, shouldn't have sent you away." I closed my eyes choking down my sobs. I couldn't live without Brian, he was the light to my dark, always there for me when I was sad or happy or whatever.

How could I be such a fool?!

I turned my back to the streets below, backing up so that my heals jutted out over the edge. The wind whipped at my clothes and hair, threatening to pull me down.

"I'm sorry, Brian. I'm not strong enough to live without you."

I let the wind take me away from this place, the darkness washing over me.

Heh heh...uh...sorry? That one was kind of depressing. Welp, even though it was sad, I hope you enjoyed it!