BBS One-shots...cause, yeah(TAKING REQUESTS!!!)

Not Living For Myself(Minicat)

Warning-Self-harm and attempted suicide.

Request made by the amazingly wonderful BlondeLADD. I hope this is good, I know it's probably not what you originally thought of. 

Craig's POV-

Today was hell. Again. Tyler was gone. Again. I was alone. Again.

I was really starting to hate this pattern.

I trudged through the halls of my school again, eyes tired and lined with bruise-like shadows that betrayed my lack of sleep. I held my stuff against my chest as tightly as I could, trying to keep it from being smacked out of my hands. That attempt was in vain as in the next five seconds a jock ran by with a group of his friends, smacking my stuff out of my arms with a painful force. The next guy behind him slammed into my side, sending me sailing towards the floor. My head hit the floor with a hard smacking sound and pain flared in my skull, causing colorful sparks to dart across my vision like electricity. I groaned, holding a hand to the back of my head to see if there was blood. My question was answered a second later when I felt a hot, sticky, wet substance seep through my hair and onto my hand. Laughter rang out around me and grated against the inside of my head, making it pound.

Don't cry, not here. Anywhere but here.

I scrambled for my stuff, chasing after a binder someone kicked away from my searching fingers. I felt the familiar sting of tears in my eyes and that deep ache in my chest come back. I rushed to the bathroom, stumbling like a drunk as tears blurred my vision. I dropped my stuff as soon as I burst through the doors, stumbling over to a stall and locking myself in. I curled up on the floor, sobbing as everything just seemed to crash down on me at that moment. Tyler has been gone for almost two weeks on a trip with his family and it has taken a very heavy toll on me. I didn't know when he'd be back, his parents had taken away his phone so we couldn't text each other. Over the time that Tyler had been gone my life had gone straight to hell. To be honest, it'd been heading that way for over a year, Tyler just slowed it down. He prolonged the inevitable.

Since Tyler left I had been thrown back into the deep end. Before I had Tyler's protection, I was bullied every day at school. It was like a necessity for everyone. Bully the gay nerd. Sometimes it was more verbal than anything, sometimes it was more physical. I'd come home black and blue with my mind a shattered mess. Then Tyler and I had met. We went from strangers to friends, to lovers within a month and he saved me. I was ready to end it. I was so, so ready to end it all. But Tyler made me promise. No more cutting. If I started sinking back into the swirling, sucking darkness that refused to completely let me go, he knew. He knew and he pulled me out. But tendrils still clung to me and they always pulled me back towards the mass of darkness and despair that never left. And it had pulled me in too far now. Tyler wasn't here to pull me back out.

The bullies were back, but it wasn't just them that had dambed me. My parents were drunks. Abusive drunks that hated me. They had threatened me last night, told me they'd kick me out. They'd give me two days to get out. I had nowhere to go. I don't have enough money to afford a place to stay. Tyler's parents loved me. Mine hated me. And I was terrified to go home each night. This time, bullies and my parents were too much. Just too much.

The tears had stopped now. It's not because there were no more to shed, it was because I had no will to shed any more. I started to stand up on shaky legs when I heard the bathroom door burst open. The raucous yelling of the jock posse filled the small space, making my head pound again.

"Come on out here, nerd! We know you're in there!"

The stall door I was in rattled violently and stupid laughter followed. I know they expected me to cower in here and resist, but I had no fucks left to give. My movements were robotic and my face was devoid of expression as I unlocked the door. As soon as I did it was yanked open and one of the jocks, I think his name was Thomas, grabbed a fist full of my hoodie, dragging me out and slamming me against the wall. I was like a ragdoll in his grip, limp and helpless. His cruel grin stretched across his face, murder in his gaze.