Chapter 4
Derek was still holding Meredith in his arms.
"Mer, I'm so happy you're alive, everything will be okay. We'll figure things out'
'Derek.. I.." She kept sobbing
"Mer, I'm here for you, I'll always be here and I'll do everything I can to find you the best team of doctors." Derek said still holding her close, both of them needed time to let this sink in. She just lost the ability over her lower body and for now the only thing they both wanted was holding each other as close as possible. They lost their daughter and Meredith's feeling of her lower body all at the same time, no one could claim to be okay after all of this.
The next morning Amelia, Bailey and Webber walked in.
"Good morning Meredith, Derek."
"Morning" Derek said, looking at Meredith who was lying in the hospital bed, trying to hide herself from everyone around her except Derek.
"Grey, we'll check on your other wounds first" Bailey said
Meredith nodded and closed her eyes tightly when Bailey pulled away Meredith's blanket, revealing Meredith's lifeless legs. Derek noticed and squeezed Meredith's hand.
"Mer.. we need to start talking about the next steps" Amelia spoke up
"I'm a doctor, I know what will happen next" Meredith scoffed
"Meredith, you're a patient now. We need to discuss these things" Richard said while looking at her. He felt bad, Meredith's life has been hell and now there's another huge challenge waiting for her.
"As you know, patients with an incomplete SCI can regain strength. Everything will depend on how fast you'll be able to start with rehab. The first things you'll learn is how to sit up and regain your balance. We don't want you out of bed in the first days. Your body is reacting well on the catheter-" Amelia started but couldn't finish as Meredith interrupted her
"Catheter?" Meredith said while freaking out "Take it out, now!" She started yelling
"Mer.."
"No, Derek! I.. this. no! This isn't really happening, I.. No!" She started yelling. Her back was sore and she was in pain because of the surgery and she finally let it sink in she's paralyzed
Derek held her close "let it out" he whispered "let it all out"
Amelia, Bailey and Richard left the room. They needed to give Meredith some time to become calm.
...
"Meredith? Are you ready to continue the conversation?" Bailey asked
"Whatever" Meredith said before staring in her lap.
"So.. the catheter needs to stay, there's still some swelling around your SCI and once that has come down we'll be able to see if you'll regain control about your bladder"
"You and Derek really need to order a wheelchair. I know this is easy to say but the faster you got your own, the better" Richard explained
Derek nodded while Meredith held him even closer. His t-shirt wrinkled of her clutching at his shirt.
"We'll ask Callie to help you with this. She'll be able to help you a little more" Bailey said while giving a sad smile
"How's the pain now?" Amelia asked
"Bad" Meredith confessed
"On a scale from 1-10?"
"9.. maybe.. maybe 10?" Meredith said not daring to look in anyone's eyes.
"Mer.." Derek whispered. "Amelia, can you give her her next dose of pain meds?"
Amelia nodded before walking out of the room to go get them.
"Meredith, sweetie.." Bailey started with her sweet voice instead if using her Nazi voice "This will be hell, but you can do this. We'll all be here for you, Cristina and Alex will come over once we're done here, okay?"
Meredith nodded while Bailey grabbed her hand and squeezed it.
"Derek, we'll send Torres by before lunch" Richard said while Amelia walked back in and gave Meredith her pain meds. Derek could feel her relaxing a bit more before she fell into a light sleep.
...
"Shepherd, how is she doing?" Alex asked as he and Cristina entered the room
"She's asleep" he sighed
"How did she react?" Alex asked again
"She.. she started to freak out, the catheter was too much to deal with. But after the talk we had with Amy, Miranda and Richard she got her pain meds and fell asleep." Derek explained
"How long does she needs to stay in this bed?" Cristina asked before she started pacing around in the small hospital room
"She can't get up in the first days because of the stitches that need to heel first. Afterwards they will start her on regaining balance while sitting down.. and.. well.. we don't know further. Everything will depend ln how well she'll be able to balance while sitting up without support"
"Damnit Mer.." Cristina scoffed
Alex looked like he felt guilty. He blamed himself. He should have been in this bed, not Meredith. She lost her daughter because of him and now he even took her legs?
"Alex.. are you okay?" Derek asked
"I'm sorry Shepherd"
"You don't have tl say sorry, this isn't your fault, Mer wouldn't want you to blame yourself" Derek said before noticing Meredith was waking up again
"Hi, Mer" Derek whispered
"Hi" Meredith looked up noticing Derek, Cristina and Alex.
"Mer.. how are you feeling?" Alex asked
"I'm.. fine" Meredith whispered while giving them a sad smile. She knew they wouldn't believe her, these are her best friends. They know when she's lying and she has every reason to be not fine, they all knew.
"Grey?" Callie said after knocking on the door and entering her room
"Hi, Callie" Derek said
"I'm here to help you out with ordering your wheelchair" Callie said
"We're gonna go.. well.. we'll come by later" Cristina said before she and Alex left the room
"So, Meredith. You'll need a chair with enough support for your back. Your SCI is incomplete and that means there's a chance you'll make progress and maybe regain some movement or feeling but it also means you'll be in way more discomfort." Callie started explaining
Derek and Meredith were listening. Meredith felt distracted and kept thinking "why me". She didn't know if she wanted to fight this, she didn't know if she can do this.
"So I would say a light chair with middle high backrest" Callie kept explaining
Derek kept listening and took mental notes. Once she left they could order hers so she could be out of this bed as fast as possible. Derek knew Meredith, he knows she's a fighter and this won't stop her.
"Thanks Callie" Derek said as she exited the room
"Derek.. you don't have to stay with me if you don't want to. You didn't sign up for this and we can get a divorce.."
"Meredith, no! I love you and we'll get trough this. And we're gonna keep fighting.
"Derek.. we already lost Zola.. you just lost me"
"Mer, I didn't lose you and I'l gonna do everything I can to get Zola back so we can prove Janet that we're her best chance.. Meredith, we are her parents and no one else"
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Highway to Hell
FanfictionAnother outcome on what could have happened in the episode Dark was the Night. Will there be severe injuries? Read to find out. Co written with @_Ktje_ Go follow her!!
