Highway to Hell

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Mer, I think we should start looking for your wheelchair" Derek said the next day, afraid of how she would react. Her scar was healing and she got heavy pain medication.

"I.. I know" Meredith sighed

Derek got up and grabbed his laptop that's been lying on the table next to the bathroom

"Derek.. I need a normal chair and no flashy colors" Meredith warned him.

"Of course Mer, whatever you feel comfortable in"

"Th..Thanks Der" She said while a tear escaped her eye

"Mer, I'll be here every moment of this journey for you" He said before kissing her

"Can.. Can I shower?" She whispered

"I can give you a sponge bath, you can't get into a tub as long as your stitches are in"

Meredith nodded "Maybe first handle this.. shopping"

Derek grabbed her hand as he opened his laptop revealing a picture of him, Meredith and Zola. "I.. I'm sorry, Mer"

"I miss her"

"I do too.."

She squeezed his hand and after a few minutes looking at the picture he decided to open Google and go to the site Callie gave them. Once the page opened they saw so many different wheelchairs. They kept looking around and set in the filters for her needs.

After a while of talking about them and comparing the wheelchairs they had in mind, she made a decision and they paid for it. The chair should be here in a few days. There were some adjustments that had to be made before it would be all hers.

•••

"Derek?" Meredith asked hesitantly.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry...about Zola. I love her. Loved her so much. I didn't mean to get her taken away." She said, tears forming in her eyes.

"Mer, this wasn't your fault. And it's not over. You know that. I've called Janet a million times. It's not over. I promise you we will be parents Mer." Derek replied as he climbed into bed beside her.

"How can I even be a mom when I can't stand or walk?" She asked in a defeated tone.

"We'll find a way."

"But I'm disabled, Derek!" She yelled.

"I know Mer. But you don't need your legs to be a mother. You can still hold her in your lap, and do pretty much everything with her. It'll just be a little different." He replied calmly.

"I don't want to live like this." She said, her voice breaking.

"It's okay." He murmured. "You won't be like this forever. PT will help, but it will take a long time. You're a fighter, Mer. One of the strongest people I know. And we're going to do this together, every step of the way."

"I want her back." She cried into his chest. Derek sighed. "I know Meredith. Me too."

•••

A little while later, Derek had left to go get cleaned up with Cristina and Alex walked in. "How you doin Mer?" Alex asked.

"Just great."

"I'm so sorry. This really is all my fault." Alex said with a frown. Meredith threw an exasperated look at Cristina, and she knew what to do.

"Can it Evil Spawn. This is not your fault. And Zola was not your fault. You need to stop blaming yourself, because it's annoying as hell. Meredith is now paralyzed from the waist down, and there's nothing we can do about that until physical therapy. And you moping around the hospital isn't helping. Got it?" Cristina asked. Alex just nodded.

"Now Mer, you're going to kick ass in physical therapy and you will get feeling back. You're Meredith Grey for god sake. So you stop moping too, got it?"

"Okay." Meredith replied, amused at her best friend's determination.

"What's with all the yelling Yang?" Bailey asked sharply as she entered the room.

"I was just telling these two to stop blaming themselves, Dr Bailey." Cristina explained. "You know, for once I agree with you, Yang."

"How you feeling Grey?" Bailey asked.

"I'm not." She muttered under her breath.

"What was that?" Bailey asked firmly.

"Not horrible." Meredith replied. "Okay. And where did Shepherd go?" Bailey asked.

"He went to get coffee." Meredith answered as she stifled a yawn. "Alright. Meredith, get some sleep. You're exhausted, I can tell. I'll tell Shepherd to keep it down if I see him. Both of you, out." Bailey ordered. "Bye Mer."

Meredith tried to close her eyes and sleep, but it just didn't work. She was tired, but it was like her body couldn't shut down. "Aren't you supposed to be sleeping?" Derek asked as he walked into the room.

Meredith shrugged and grumbled something incoherent.

"What's wrong?" He asked softly, walking over to brush a piece of hair out of her face.

"I can't sleep." She admitted. Derek smiled sadly and climbed into bed, moving behind her so his legs were around hers and wrapped his arms around her torso.

"Derek-"

"Relax Meredith. I got you, okay? I'm not gonna leave. Just relax." He whispered.

"Do I have PT tomorrow?" She asked with a small yawn.

"Yes, you do. Do you want me to be there?"

Meredith nodded. "Okay. Just please get some sleep Meredith." He pleaded quietly.

"You know, you're probably touching my legs with your feet right now and I can't even feel that. Kind of funny." Meredith said bitterly.

Derek frowned. "Meredith, shut your mind please. You keep thinking. Just relax, you are so tense."

"I love you." She sighed as she relaxed her entire body, melting into his.

"I love you too."

Hey guys! Hope you all enjoyed this chapter! As allows, go follow our brilliant co writer and hope your all doing well! _Ktje_