Hired for Liam ✔

Chapter 26

Lauren's POV

"What-what am I g-gonna do Zayn?" I weeped, using my hair to shield my face. He wrapped a comforting arm around me, and hugged my fragile body to his chest.

I had succeeded. I successfully pushed everyone away. Except for Zayn. He was the closet thing I had to a trustworthy confident. I shoved Liam back out of my life. He had a career to worry about, not some mess of a teenage girl. I let him go, because it was the right thing to do. It wasn't fair I was putting him through all of this. He deserved a beautiful, sweet, and kind heart. Unfortunately, I just can't offer that. I was broken. Broken like glass, and impossible to piece back together. I was a disaster, and Liam had nothing to do with it.

I had been a mess my entire life. Once my father died, and Chase went to prison, I immediately fell into a rebellious phase. I even resoluted to smoking, until I quit when Kylie caught me.

And what Chase said was completely the truth. I dyed my hair and changed everything about myself so I could forget. I wanted to forget the cowardly, frightened little girl I once was. I hadn't been courageous or strong enough to defend myself, nor my sister before, and I was not letting it happen again.

I went to the drug store and bought the first bottle of dye my fingers touched. I didn't care what color it turned out to be, as long as I didn't look like that girl again. That color turned out to be a very bright red, and I continued with it for three years. I still love it to this day.

I now intimidated people with ny unnatural hair, black clothing, and piercings. People looked at me like I was a frightening person. That's what I had wanted. Nobody ever crossed me, because I was extremely strong willed and uncompromising. My mother was concerned at first, but she slowly warmed up to the new, stubborn me.

But now, as I slightly looked into the mirror on the wall beside Zayn's hotel bed, and saw once again a completely different person.

My eyes were puffy and bloodshot from crying, the glint of liveliness now missing. They looked exhausted and dull. My hair was a mess, and it needed to be dyed again. My roots were showing. This was happening all over again. The tears, the depression. It all was starting the never ending cycle of sadness. I didn't know why I had this excruciating pain in my chest at the thought of Liam not being there for me anymore. It was strange, what I was feeling. People left just as quick as they came in my life, but I desperately felt like I needed Liam. He was my reason for breathing at this point. Never in my entirety of living, has someone shown me half as much kindness and care as Liam James Payne. My mother was never around after my father left, she worked nonstop. Kylie started to push me away whenever she started to become prettier and preppy. I finally realized, these boys, these rowdy, loud, annoying, and sweet boys were all I had. All ten of us, the 1D boys, myself, and the 5SOS boys were a family. I trusted each and every one of them with my life. If I left and gave up now, which Meredith saying she would sue quickly changed my mind, but I never wanted to be away from these boys from this day on. I loved them. Each and every single one of them just as if we were actual blood.

And at that moment, the ice around my heart melted a little further. Liam Payne, world wide boy banding, was the key to my happiness. He was what I truly needed. I needed every single inch of him. I was scared, because he was just as addicting as nicotine, and just as dangerous. He had a hot temper, and he got jealous easily. But he was everything I wanted. I had no idea what this feeling was. My heart was longing for his affection, and for him to tell me that everything was okay. That I was fine, and then we would go to sleep cuddled in the same bed. This wasn't just a job to me anymore.

Love was an irrational idea. And I would be absolutely mad to believe in it.

I know that love was purely a fictional thought, and it wasn't rational, nor existent. But I still felt it.

I love him.