Shadows (Patrick Kane)

(14) A Bridge

Patrick

As the days pass since the loss I slowly come out of my hole. I turn my phone back on and open up the blinds and actually take care of myself. Of course Sophia was there to help me along the way, go grocery shopping with me and we catch movies and go outside every once in a while. Remind me that there is a fine line between living and existing. We spend quite a few days together just living our lives the best way we knew how. Without a care and with no conviction.

And as the weather gets warmer I knew summer was here. Life was passing us by and if we don't take the opportunities we have we will never see them again. So when I see something about them needing sideline reporters for Chicago's main sports network I knew what had to be done.

"Don't be mad at me" I start as Sophia furrows her eyebrows at me. She knew better than to trust me when I start off a sentence like that but she didn't really have a choice.

"What did you do... this time" she asks.

"I might have put in a word over at NBCSN about you being interested in being a news reporter" I say really quickly. Her eyes nearly pop out of her head as she shakes it back and fourth.

"Pat you didn't" she groans.

"They can't do anything until you send in a official application but there is a interview waiting for you if you chose to go for it. And I think you should" I try.

"Why are you pushing this so hard" she questions.

"Because I believe in you. Is that so bad" I defend.

"No, that's not my issue here. I appreciate your support and your belief in me. A lot of times that's about the only thing that keeps me looking for whatever it is my calling is. But I hated modeling so how do I know being stuck in front of the camera for men to look at me but I'm just talking about sports is any different" she questions.

"Because you write your scripts. The stories you tell are ones of your own. You go out in the field and you get to figure out what the story is. Create in a way that only you can. You said it yourself, you like to ask questions and make things interesting. See stuff in ways people don't usually see. This is your chance to do that and still be something in this city. You can tell your stories, make memories in this city and it not have anything to do with your dad or brother. They're all your own. You can cover the Hawks or the Cubs or White Sox or college sports. Anything you like" I insist.

"You've thought this through huh" she asks.

"Well having someone on my side when I have bad games doesn't hurt" I smirk.

"Oh yeah. You made this decision so it benifits you" she teases.

"Not even close. But it would be a perk" I insist.

"I don't know much about any sport other than football. I have no experience in covering sports outside of what I did in college" she defends.

"You grew up in professional football and in just a few games you learned all you need to know about hockey. You don't have to play these games to understand the weight of the moment. Being a sports fan isn't as intricate as they make it. You don't need to be born a fan or be all die hard. Many of the people telling the stories have never played a game in their life. That's the beautiful thing about sports, you don't have to play in order to be a part of something bigger than you ever imagined. You know that. I think you have a unique perspective in this world, one that the athletes appreciate and the fans understand. You can be the bridge between the two. Someone who is reliable but isn't just tearing down the athletes because you know what it does to them and their families. But you also know us athletes aren't untouchable, we should be held accountable and treated as equals. Who better to be that bridge than you" I ask.

A soft sigh passes her big pink lips as her eyes finally turned back to me. "You really think I'm who this city needs to be on tv talking about sports" she asks.

"I do" I nod.

"I must be losing my mind" she shakes her head.

"So you'll do it" I cheer.

"I gotta get my resume together. And you nor my father nor my brother will have a say in this. Not a word" she warns as she points a stern finger at me.

"Deal" I say as I raise my hands in defense.

So she hangs out with me for a little while longer before she had to get home. There was a lot she had to do to get her resume made up and sent out. I'm sure there was many qualified people out in this field wanting this job. But she's young, she's hot, she's incredibly intelligent and has one of those personalities that would come through a television and make people want to tune in. I think she would be great at this job and the city would be lucky to have her.

As she goes off to set out on the next part of her life I go to do mine. Like I said the opportunities were coming whether we were ready for them or not. The summer was upon us and I usually go home. Though I'm not so sure I want to knowing my grandpa won't be there. I miss my friends and of course my family. I miss Buffalo in general, but not more than I miss my pops. Going back isn't going to be the same, and it won't ever be the same again. I can't keep avoiding all my problems then expecting them to resolve themselves. It took me a while to realize it but that is not how things work. I'm just not so sure going there for the summer is the answer either.

My phone starts to buzz on the couch beside me and I look at it. The picture of my family and Sophie after a game lights up as my Lock Screen and I smile to myself. Not a lot of things makes my heart tick anymore. All these material things and perpetuated situations just don't have the same effect on me as they used to. I'm older and wiser and now so easily swayed by having things handed to me. And maybe that's a good thing. Maybe me feeling like this is a blessing because people can't just throw me a bone and I do whatever they want me to. Now I actually need a reason for things being the way they are. I just wish those reasons were a little more apartment.