Shadows (Patrick Kane)

(55) So This Is Love

Sophia

While I admire my job more than most people admire theirs, there is a lot of work that goes into going to work. So much film, reading stats, scoping out opposing players and learning the other teams tactics. You have to know who's hot, who's not. Who's the white horse in the Calvary. And for some reason the game of hockey seems like this never ending list of stats from time on ice to shot percentage to corsi to plus minus. It's so much more than goals scored and shut outs. A better team can easily lose to a lesser one while out shooting them. There's no predictability for that. And that's what makes this sport so much fun to watch.

This Blackhawk's team was a lot of fun to follow. Past the corsi and skating abilities and high draft picks you have quite the pot of personalities. They all love this game and love this city which makes my job easier. I don't have to stand in front of a camera and pull stuff out of my ass. While I never thought my job would be to sit here and watch highlight tapes, at least they give me something good to watch.

Usually I have Patrick help me with film but he had some team stuff to attend to. So I let him be and I break down some plays on my own, take notes on zone entries and comparing the teams on power play and penalty kill.

Eventually we get to a video of Patrick's last goal and I smile. It's was one of his more impressive ones for sure. The mans backhand was dangerous and he was playing great hockey right now. Well over a point per game a little over halfway through the season. It was fun to watch him because even if he isn't scoring he's making these ridiculous plays. No one in this game has better passing than him, every player has to respect when he's on the ice because he's a constant threat. It was almost magical how he plays the game and you always know when he's out there. From spin-o-rama's to threading the needles. The man was a magician on the ice.

The video cuts to Patrick celebrating with his friends with the biggest smile on his face. You can just tell he loves playing this game. How his eyes light up whenever he gets the go ahead to jump the ice. You don't find a love like that too often.

Then for a moment everything stops. My heart skips a beat as I think about a love like that. And I realize how Patrick felt about playing, I felt that way about him too. He makes me smile, laugh, feel like I belong. Him and I go together like him and hockey. It's natural and fun and always filled with compassion. And there was no better feeling than when we were together. Like we were meant to be.

"So this is love" I mumble under my breath.

I finish up my research before heading over to my brothers. He was about to start his second playoff game of the year and he was quite a mess. He wanted so bad to do good but you can't force these things. So I was going to help him relax a little.

"Are you okay? You look like you have a lot on your mind" my brother accuses as he joins me on the couch.

I just shake my head as a soft sigh passes my lips.

"I had quite the realization today" I admit.

"About Patrick" he concludes as I furrow my eyebrows.

"How did you know" I question.

"I can see it in your face. I spent my whole life with you. Watched you crush over guys and mess around but never had a man made you wonder when he wasn't around. I can tell when you're thinking about him. Your lips curl into a small smile and your eyes start to sparkle. And it's only with him" he tells me.

"Oh that's gross" I shake my head as he laughs.

"There's worst things you can do than fall in love with your best friend" he reminds me.

"How do I know if it's love" I question.

"I honestly can't tell you that Soph. Love is different for everyone. I myself haven't found a love of my own. And who knows if I'll figure out if it's love when it becomes that. Life is full of mystery, perhaps the concept of love is the greatest one of all. Walking that line between someone meaning a lot to you and someone who means everyone to you. You can't see it or touch it, you have to feel it" he claims.

"Sure as hell sounds like you know a lot about love" I accuse.

"Well I love you a lot. And not in the romantic way but in the way that I do stupid things just for you. And I'll do it again if it keeps you happy and safe" he claims.

"So how do I know if it's love? Because I know this feeling I have, it's unlike anything I've ever known before. And I don't want to end up like dad falling in love with every other women he meets never truly having that feeling of being complete. And I don't want to be like mom who had love and didn't know how to handle it. Threw it all away because she was scared. I don't know what to do" I sigh.

"I don't either because whenever I don't know what to do I just ask myself what would you do" he claims as I roll my eyes. A real help he is.

"Don't tell Patrick about this. I want to figure this out on my own. If it's truly love then he should hear it from me. If it's something else I don't want him to get confused or upset. Let me sort out these feelings and go from there" I beg.

"Of course Soph. I won't meddle. But if it is love I think you need to tell him as soon as possible. Patrick is strong but he's sensitive. And he truly wants you to be around. He's told me. I know it's confusing but don't let those feelings fade. That look you have when you think of him, it's comforting. To know someone makes you so happy that all you have to do is think about him and it's enough" he says.

"I'll do my best" I promise.