Shadows (Patrick Kane)

(62) Manipulation

Sophia

As Patrick recovers I do my best to keep him happy and make sure he is healing as fast as possible. The return time for a broken collar bone is three months but the playoffs are next month and he is insistent that he will be on the ice with his team. So while I had to go off to work I have Henry watch over him. Keep tabs and make sure he isn't over working himself in the rare chance that he'll be ready to go by the end of April.

"How is he doing" I ask over the phone as I finish up at NBCSN. I had to get my work done now before vacation starts and I won't be around to do it.

"He's fine. Refuses to take the drugs because it makes his tummy hurt and he's a man and pain isn't a problem. But he has also cried four times today" my brother tells me as I roll my eyes.

Men.

"Alright. Well you can leave his place and I'll be there in about a hour. I'm gonna pick us up some dinner and I'll stay until he goes to sleep" I assure him.

"Okay. And when you get here please talk to him about this ESPN job. He's really worked up about it" he tells me and I stop. My eyebrow raises as I grab for my purse.

"What ESPN job" I ask him.

"He's been going on and on about you moving on to bigger and better things and leaving him behind. Something about like you taking a job as a reporter for ESPN in LA and never coming back" he explains.

"I never got a job offer" I insist.

"He is sure you did. Said you got a call the other day about it. He was asking if I would help keep you here but lord knows you don't listen to me" he scoffs.

I shake my head back and fourth as I try to piece this together. But it didn't make sense. "I never got a call about a job in LA. It must be his medication" I try.

"Nope. He won't take it remember" he defends.

I suddenly recall a conversation the other day after I got out of the shower when he was over at my place. How he was acting suspicious and asking all these questions. Questions that lined up with this story more than him worried about his sisters. And if my suspicions are correct he has a lot of explaining to do.

"Okay. I'll talk to him" I promise.

"Good" he sighs.

I clock out before stopping off for some deep dish pizza on the way to Patrick's place. I do a mighty good job of convincing myself that Patrick would never lie to me or do something as underhanded as this. I mean that's like me being his agent and not telling him about offers from other teams in the hopes he stays here. Though this is home he still deserves to know and decide if he wanted to go somewhere else even if he ends up staying home. We have spent most of our time together building each other up and making sure we're being the very best we can be. No matter what. He wouldn't do this... right?

Once I pull in I sit in my car for a second. I grab the pizza but don't get out immediately. My mind was going a hundred miles per hour as I try to think of my reaction if it is all true. If he picked up my phone and took a call then deleted it so I never knew. How do you react to that?

Finally I find enough courage to go up there. I see Patrick on the couch with his arm still wrapped up. He was in pain, I know he was, and I didn't want to make anything worse. But I couldn't sit here knowing that there's a chance he has been keeping something from me.

"Hey Posey, how was your day" he says softly as he sits up. I sit next to him trying my best to approach this carefully.

"It was fine. My brother said on the phone that I should talk to you about something" I start.

He furrows his eyebrows as he looks at me weird. "Talk about what" he wonders.

"You apparently answering a call about me going to LA to work at ESPN" I start.

Very quickly his face falls as his eyes get stormy. I could tell by his reaction he never meant for my brother to talk to me about this. But here we are.

"How did you know about that" he whispers.

"My brother was worried. Said you were going on and on about me moving away and moving on from you. Said he felt bad because you didn't want me to leave. But then I thought about how I never got a phone call, you never said anything to me. So you couldn't have been keeping this from me... right" I ask.

"I thought it was my phone-" he starts.

"No. Patrick you wouldn't do that to me. You wouldn't lie to me" I try.

"I never meant to keep this from you. But they were talking about how bad they needed you. It wasn't nearly as much as I need you but it was enough. I got scared that you would jump all over this without giving me a second thought" he tries.

"Bull shit! You're here, my brother is here. My life is here I wouldn't just up and throw it all away without thinking about it" I defend.

"But you would leave. That's what you do. Denver, Madison, Dallas, all the places you gone you left" he tries.

"I left because I was still looking for what I wanted most in life... and I found you" I tell him.

The apartment goes silent as we just stare at each other. You could hear a piece of paper hit the ground. I feel the tears come up as I try to find the words that seemed to be avoiding me.

"I thought I found someone who would be on my side no matter what. Someone who actually understood me and what I wanted. But you obviously know nothing about me if you think that I would just give up on us like that. Maybe we could have worked it out. Maybe I could have been bigger than my wildest dreams. But I'll never know because you were being selfish" I accuse.

"I can get them back. The guys name was Lawrence I know guys at ESPN who would help me connect him to you. We can figure this out" he insists.

"There's no we Patrick. You showed me that. I love my job here but I could reach so many more people there. I could have shared my love for these games and these athletes with the world. Maybe that could have been my dream. And I don't want to believe you would do something like this then keep it from me. But you did" I whisper.

"I'm sorry Posey-" he tries.

"I don't want to hear it. I would never keep something like this from you. I don't want to lose you either but if you had to go somewhere to rehab your arm or went home for a while I wouldn't hold you back. If that's what was what you wanted then I would support you. Not manipulate you to keep you around" I sigh.

"I wish I told you. I wish I never picked up that phone. I'm sorry I didn't say anything but I really did just want you around. Sophie I don't know how I could live without you" he claims.

"I know you have strong feelings for me. And I know that I am someone you rely on daily for a great many of things. But that doesn't excuse you taking something like this away from me" I defend.

"I know" he admits. "And I truly am sorry. I just... I can't lose you."

"And what if in doing so caused you to lose me anyway" I counter.

His eyes drop to his lap as he picks at his sling with his good hand. The silence absolutely deafening at this point.

"I understand" he sniffles.

"I'm not saying I'm leaving. I just... I need some time" I insist.

"I get it. When you're ready I'll be here" he promises.

If only it were that easy.