Shadows (Patrick Kane)

(17) No Strings Attatched

Patrick

Now that it's the middle of June I was ready for summer to start. And usually I spend my summer back home working out and hanging out with the people I grew up with. Go down memory lane and remember why I fell in love with this game in the first place.

But something was keeping me here in Chicago longer than I belonged. Something that was never supposed to mean as much to me as it does. And I was hoping to bring her home with me at least for a little while.

"What are your plans for the summer" I ask Sophia as we hang out in the bar. It was 4 am and we already spent too much time in this bar but we haven't been kicked out yet.

She just shrugs her bare shoulders causing her curls to shrink and fall back down.

"Chilling I guess. I don't have plans with my family and I can't work yet so maybe I'll have a hot girl summer" she smirks.

"What do you think about spending the summer in New York, with me" I ask slowly.

She raises her eyebrow as her drink sits in her hand. "You want me following you around Buffalo" she accuses.

"If anything I'll be following you around" I admit as she giggles.

"I don't know Pat. That seems a bit..." she trails off.

"Serious" I ask.

"Yeah" she admits.

"Look at it this way. You can learn about hockey from the best. And I'm not talking about me, I'm taking about my dad. No one knows more about this sport than he does. And we can go around the Bills stadium and you can get your football fix too. Plus you can have your hot girl summer with my sisters, they would love to go to the nearest beach and drink all day with you. I have a extra room in the house I own there so we won't even have to sleep together, no strings attatched" I promise her.

"Well when you put it that way" she smirks.

"So you'll come" I wonder.

A soft sigh passes her lips as she shakes her head. "I must be losing my mind" she insists.

"I'm hearing a yes but I want to hear you say it" I beg. I don't want her saying something that sounds like a yes, I wanted a yes.

"Yes Patrick, I'll come home with you for the summer. But you're keeping your place clean, I don't live like a pig" she insists.

"I'll try my best" I assure her.

We finish up at the bar before deciding to go for a walk. I kinda feel bad because summertime Chi was pretty great. This time last summer we were dragging the Stanley cup to every bar we hadn't been kicked out of yet. We were so on top of the world and now it's a year later and I haven't felt lower. And while things were getting better for me, the sun was starting to peak through these storm clouds, I still couldn't get past how hard life let me fall. And how hard it was to get up off the ground.

"What are you thinking so hard about" Soph asks me as we walk step for step.

"About how much fun we're going to have in New York" I smile so she doesn't know I'm lying.

"What's your favorite part about Buffalo" she wonders.

"My family. I have a big one, lots of cousins and aunts and uncles. And they all live in or around Buffalo so it's always fun to go home. They don't care who I am or what I do, like you. They just want to be around me and it's nice, to feel wanted" I shrug.

"Who said I wanted you" she jokes as I nudge her side.

"Hey. I might have slowed down my player ways but so have you. No matter what bar were in we always end up leaving together, who would have thought" I ask.

"Not me. A good reason I ended up here is the fact that the night life is so active, and so was I. But leaving that place and being able to walk around this city admiring the beauty it holds with someone I know isn't just trying to have sex with me then leave. It's nice" she admits.

"Yeah. The whole sleeping around thing was getting tiring anyway" I try.

"Yeah. I mean a different person every night. Trying to sneak out of their places before they wake up. Worried about getting some kind of std. Why did we do that to ourselves" she wonders.

"I guess we didn't really care about anything, ourselves especially" I guess.

"And that's changed" she questions.

"I don't really know" I admit. "I stopped messing around but I don't feel much different. I still drink more than I should, I still go out when I'm supposed to be in and I still don't feel like my life has much more meaning. But I have stuff I care about now. Things I want to be able to do and I didn't have that before" I admit.

"What were you like before everything went to shit" she asks. She's full of questions tonight.

"I smiled a lot. Like a real smile. I loved being on the ice more than anything. I was out there until they kicked me out. Those teams I was on, they were top notch. And I'm not saying I don't like the guys on these teams because in a lot of ways it's the same people. But you get attached to guys like Big Buff and Bower and Bolland, you make memories with these guys then all of the sudden you look up and he's lined up against you on the other side of the ice. I guess I didn't think about how this game is also a business and my part in it is replaceable. No one is untouchable. Gretzky got traded twice. And as I get older I realize that I love this game, and I love the life that comes with it, but I'm not immune to the things that allow others to change without a care. I act like I don't care but I do, and that's my problem. I shouldn't get caught up in the business side of hockey but it kicks you square in the chest and sometimes it's hard to breathe out there. I still love the ice, the game, my brothers I made. But god it has become so insufferable" I admit.

"And I'm supposed to be covering this shit? I wish I would have known that beforehand because I'm not sure I can control my mouth when it comes to stuff like this" she shakes her head.

"Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe you're the voice we players need. Maybe you're the someone who will get through to the fans" I try.

"I'm going to have a short lived carrer if I take that path" she giggles.

"I'm not saying to go out and attack the establishment. But maybe your situation is special and you're in this position because you're someone who shares the passion I do and isn't afraid to upset the balance" I insist.

"Maybe. But I want to know more before I go off running my mouth" she says.

"That's probably a good idea" I admit.