Shadows (Patrick Kane)

(61) Gut Feelings

Patrick

Even though I was out of commission my legs and everything else still worked pretty well. So I assure Sophia the vacation was still on and make sure everything was ready. We had two days for travel and five days to explore Australia and act like we could run away. It wasn't a lot but it was enough to get us out away from the life we knew out here. I could use a break that isn't in my collar bone and Sophia was ready for a vacation. They were working her good and it's been nice being able to see her around the boxes. Of course I would rather be on the ice but it was nice hanging out with her for most of the game. I miss being on skates but I've been doing this a long time, I needed some time away from the ice I just wish it didn't take me snapping a bone to get it.

And as I recover Sophia and I spend a lot of time together. I stayed laid up on her couch playing with Olaf watching tv. She makes me food and helped me with the physical therapy I had to do at home. She's made this awful situation a little better and for that I couldn't thank her enough.

She hops in the shower and I watch some tv. I hear a phone go off on the counter and before looking at who's phone it was I pick it up.

"Hello, is this Sophia Elway" a voice asks making my eyes get big. I pull the phone from my ear and low and behold it was her phone I accidentally grabbed and not mine. Damn these IPhones for all looking the same.

"I'm sorry she is in the shower right now. But I can take a message and relay it to her for when she gets out" I assure the man on the other line.

"That would be great. I'm Lawrence and I am calling from the ESPN headquarters out in Los Angeles. We here have watched a lot of what Sophia was doing out in Chicago and was wondering if she would be interested in taking a job here? She would have access to all our information and be able to work with any team. I know she's there for Patrick and Henry in Chicago but there is a good opportunity here for her to grow further than maybe even she imagined. She will be able to reach a national audience and share her experiences with the world. Not just as a sideline reporter but as someone who means a lot to these athletes and fans. We have heard nothing but the best things about her from the players and the people she works with. So if she is interested in spreading her wings some have her call us back at this number and we can talk" Lawrence claims.

In that moment I felt something in the pit of my stomach. It felt like a stone sat in there as it weighs me down to the bottom of the ocean. Maybe it was jealousy, maybe it was fear. I try to think of something to say but I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't want to lose her, I finally found someone who made me happy. For the first time in my life I formed a relationship in which I cannot imagine a good life without. While this is a huge opportunity it's also taking away me and her brother and everything she's created here. Maybe she wouldn't even want to leave but I know my best friend. I know that when adventure calls she answers. But instead I answered this time.

"I can give her the message" I promise.

"Thank you. We really hope we can work something out and have her here with us. There's a lot of great things she can do here" he insists.

"I'll let her know" I say softly.

He hangs up as I drop the phone in my hand into my lap. I look at the number sitting there and see indeed it's a LA number. California is far from here, far from the life we knew. I didn't want to lose her to this.

In a impulse I delete the number out of her phone. And in a instant I regretted it. I just took away a opportunity from her. One of the worst things I could do to her. There's not a lot of opportunities like that in this business, especially for women. And I know she would be something special out there paving the way for other women who have a lot to say about the sports we play. But I was more scared of the thought that one day soon I could no longer love her. Nothing scared me more and this promised that I will be by her side a little while longer.

She finally comes out of the shower and sits down next to me. Her hands make sure my arm was comfortable before she lays her head on my good shoulder. A soft sigh passes her lips and I start to get sweaty. The guilt starts to build as I try to keep it together.

"You trust me, right" I ask.

"Of course" she claims.

"So if I had to do something I wasn't sure about but it was my gut feeling, do you think it's the right thing" I continue.

"I would like to think so. You are a lot more intelligent than you like to lead on. I believe that you have good instincts and decision making skills. So if you had to make a gut decision I feel like it was a good one" she claims.

"Okay. And what if it wasn't for me" I try. She finally lifts her head up as she turns to me questionably. "Say one of my sisters had a opportunity but it changed everything. All the stuff our family was built on would be lost and I don't know if I will ever have a good relationship with my sister again. Say I did something to assure myself that my sister is by my side where she belongs and is safe. Is that the right call" I reiterate.

"That's harder to say. Your intentions are well and I know you would never let your sister down. But even the mistakes need to be made in order to know what is really meant to be. How will we ever know if we never try? Who's to say she wouldn't have figured it out herself. Hell, she might even had come to the same conclusion but if she came to it then the outcome is more genuine" she explains.

I let out a soft sigh as I shake my head. She was right, this wasn't my call. My feelings can't keep her from doing something good. She would never get in the way of my opportunities and I can't get in the way of hers. But I didn't know how to get the number back or explain to her why I deleted it.

"Are you okay" she asks before I give her my most convincing smile.

"Yeah. I'm fine" I lie.

I really did it in this time.