Shadows (Patrick Kane)

Shadows

Patrick

The thing about shadows is that you are either the one casting it, or stuck in it. I never realized that even if you're casting a shadow of your own, you can be stuck in one too. I am paving the way for under sized players, American born players, players who come to play hockey in Chicago and for kids all over the world to play this game that I have come to love. But while I was casting my shadow I didn't realize that I too got lost in one. This person people created to cast those shadows castes the darkest one upon myself. I was here to play the game I love and that's it. But instead I created a monster who's shadow swallowed me.

And I sat in the dark for a while. The death of my grandpa, the loss in the Olympics, my battle with depression. They all made the darkness even darker and before I knew it I lost track of the light. Looking for it in bars and in people who never really have a shit about me. In my quest to be a icon I got lost in the shadow he left behind.

I never knew that could happen to someone like me. For Sophia she had adapted to the shadows. Manipulated it to work for her. Yeah she was the great John Elways first born, but she was able to work with that. She learned ways to peak her head out of the shadows whether it be her many adventures or all the lives she had touched outside of the game of football. I didn't know how to maneuver it as well.

So it only made sense we both got out of the shadows together. She was no longer a product of her father but her own person. Her quirks and flaws were not only accepted but encouraged. She spent her whole life in the shadows waiting for her time, looking to see when it may come. And when it did she made sure she wouldn't spend another second in the dark.

And in doing so she got me out too. Way before we won the third Stanley cup. My coming through moment was getting hurt and having to see the man I was when hockey wasn't around. And within a week of that I messed up because I thought that without hockey I wouldn't amount to anything. But then she showed me that she wasn't my best friend because of hockey, she loved the person I was off the ice just as much as the person I was on it. She helped me get rid of that ideal that I had to be the monster I created in order to please everyone. By getting rid of that version of me the shadow went with it and I was free.

Now it's fall of 2018, Sophia and I have been dating for three years and there is no time better spent than by her side. Henry has already won his first super bowl with the Bears and is looking to make a dynasty of his own. The Hawks fell off but my game has only grown. Each year I get better and better and I don't feel like stopping any time soon. Sophias parents got married and they seem to be doing good. Miranda went back to Colorado and made a home she felt like she could never leave. They visit Chicago as much as possible and spend all the holidays together. The Kane's and Elways together like they should be. The trio, we still have our monthly dinners. Still sit around and make fun of each other, give each other a hard time only to push us further. Challenge each other to be the best versions of ourself. And it's made me one of the best to ever play this game.

But with the new season around the corner I decided to put on my big boy pants and pop the question. Sophia and Olaf moved in with me a few years back and we've been doing this thing together. It's crazy at times, she's basically got her own thing going at NBCSN and is pioneering the way sports journalism works. Every athlete who comes through here loves to work with her and I couldn't be more happy for her. And along the way she had the balls to fall in love with me. And I want her to know that I want to spend every day I can with her as husband and wife.

"You nervous" Henry asks and I laugh.

"I was nervous to play in my first playoff game. This is ten times worse" I shake my head.

"Don't worry. If you weren't going to pop the question soon she was going to propose to you" he assures me.

"Wouldn't put it past her" I chuckle.

I stand in the middle of Soilder field surrounded by our families. I wanted to propose here because football molded her, this city lifted her up to be the incredible woman she is today. And I wanted her to have a sense of home, in both the sports world and the real world. Plus I wanted the biggest screen I could find to show a picture of us and the words "will you marry me" on it.

Finally my sisters bring her down to the field, Erica ans Jackie guiding her and Jess makes sure she doesn't peak u see the blindfold. I could feel my heart beating harder and harder as she gets closer. They stop her right in front of me and I couldn't help but smile like a idiot.

"I know I'm on soilder field because I can feel the way my feet sink into the turf. But I know know why I'm here" she admits.

"You we're always perceptive" I tease as she perks up.

"Pat" she asks.

"I'm here baby" I promise.

"Can I have a kiss" she says with a goofy smile on her face.

I just shake my head as I set the ring down. I walk over then grab her face pulling me into a big kiss. I feel her smile because of course she get what she wants.

"Yay" she cheers as I let her go. I'm really getting myself into this huh?

I pick up the ring before taking my place. My sisters take their place and I knew it was game time.

"Take off the blindfold" I tell her as I get down on one knee. I open the ring box and hope to god I didn't do all of this for nothing.

Sophia quickly finds me and I can tell by her face she was surprised. I asked about proposing a few months ago so I was hopping I waited long enough that she didn't see it coming. As tears come to her eyes I imagine that she didn't see it coming. I can see her smile even behind her hands as she takes it all in. There was balloons and steamers and other decorations around us. Each of our family members holding a balloon with a picture of us as we sit under the jumbo from. The scene was set and now we just need a answer.

"Sophia. You brought me out of the shadows and now we can enjoy our days in the sun. But I know that our next adventure is out there. And I don't want to go without the only person in this world who can make Chicago seem like a brand new place every day after all these years. So I wanted to ask for you to marry me" I say.

"Yes" she chokes out as I let out a sigh. I slip the ring on before she pulls me into a long kiss. I knew from this moment I could never be trapped in the shadows again.