Shadows (Patrick Kane)

(78) Butterflies

Sophia

The Hawks were in a good position in the Stanley cup final. They just won game five to go up 3-2 in the series and have a chance to win it all at home for the first time in the modern era. While they usually dominate in the regular season and have home ice advantage it is nice to have a clinching game six situation here at the United center.

The city was preparing for a win. Streets ready to shut down and bars staying open late. You could feel it in the air, the cup was coming and there wasn't a better place to be than the Windy City.

To pass the time before game six I go to Patrick's to hang out. We sit there and watch sports center as they talk about the Hawks and what winning would mean. I couldn't wait to see what happens, the possibilities were endless. I just wanted to be a part of it.

"So you just sit around waiting for the game? Doesn't that kill you" I ask.

"I have things that pass the time. I play video games and hang with my family or write" he claims.

"You... write" I ask.

"Well I wasn't supposed to tell you that part" he admits as I start to frown.

"Pat I'm your best friend. Why can't you tell me that you write" I question

"Well for one I write to you" he starts. My eyes grow big as I look at him weird.

"You write me letters" I gasp.

"I mean... yeah. I do. I have for some time" he confesses.

"Why didn't I know" I pout.

"I didn't want you to. But now that you do I feel a lot betrer" he claims.

"Can I read them?! Oh pretty please can I read them" I beg.

"I'm not sure" he claims.

"Please! They're for me anyway" I remind him.

A soft sigh passes his lips as he shakes his head. I smile to myself knowing that I was going to get my way.

"Move" he grumbles as he gets up off the couch. I get out of his lap so he can go to his room. He returns with a box that didn't look anything like a letter.

"What's this" I ask as I take the box from Patrick. It almost looked like his hands were shaking as he passed it off.

"They're every single letter I have written. From me to you" he starts.

"Awh Pat you kept all the letters" I coo.

"Yeah. I have been for a while. While you are the only person in this world I can tell anything, sometimes I can't get them out. They build up inside of me and drive me crazy. All these things I want to say, all the things I should have said, they're on these papers. Waiting for you to read them. Waiting for you to know" he tells me.

"You could have just talked to me" I try.

"I couldn't. For some reason looking you in the eyes and telling you what is really on my mind terrified me. I was so scared you wouldn't feel the same or that my feelings would be misread. So I stayed silent but a lot is about to change. If we win the cup or not my life will change. When it does I want you to know that you were my favorite part of it all" he claims.

"Is that what's in these" I ask as I pull a letter off the top. I see today's date on the envelope before I turn back to Patrick.

"Something like that. Open that one first" he insists.

"But it's the last one" I remind him.

"I know. And the beginning is a good place to start. But I want you to read this one first" he says.

So I lay down and place the box next to me. I open up the envelope and pull out a letter that was about a page long. I see some smudging because he's left handed and I smile. I know these were his words and that's what made this special. So I start to read, what he said and it doesn't take me long to realize this wasn't some kind of high school note you sneak into someone's locker. This was real and it meant everything to me.

"Dearest Posey,

I was sitting by myself the other day looking out my window and I saw a butterfly. I saw how beautiful and graceful it was and it's perfection reflected in you. Once afraid to spread your wings you had no idea how far you could go. And now look at you. You're flying head and shoulders above the rest. People have to stop and admire you. You make people like me believe that there is something out there that made a specimen so beautiful you have to take it in.

There's this Maya Angelo quote, it says "we delight in the beauty of a butterfly, but barley admit the changed it went through to achieve that beauty." It made me think about watching you go through so many changes. You finally committed to something. You opened up and you healed. You help me heal and have learned what it means to be mean everything to someone. So many things you once thought was impossible is not only possible but happening right here and now.

Butterflies can't see their wings so they can't see how beautiful they are. But everything around them can admire their beauty. That's true to you too. You're so close you can't see just how beautiful you are, inside and out.

Sometimes that's all I see. All the little things I've come to adore about you. And I know sometimes you feel like a caterpillar stick in a cocoon. Some times you feel like a fully realized butterfly. But there's never a moment where I don't stop and admire you. I can't wait to see what you can do once you know how to use your wings.

Until then I'm by your side. Your trusty caterpillar cheering you on. Being inspired by your transformation hoping to do the same. Along the way I hope to love you in the way you deserve. In a way where you can feel it without me having to tell you. Then I know I am doing the right thing.

Until then, keep flying. You're going to get to where you're meant to me.

Love, Patrick."

I wipe away a tear from my cheek as I set the paper in my lap. I look up at Patrick who was standing in front of me.

"I feel it" I whisper. "I feel the love."

He smiles big as he leans over. He wipes under my eyes before grabbing my face. He pulls me into a kiss making me raise to my feet. My fingers get tangled in his shirt as my body presses against his.

"I love you too" I promise as we break apart. He rests his forehead on mine as I take in the moment.

"You're a beautiful butterfly Posey. And I love you no matter what colors you show. Even if you design yourself to scare off predators. I still know you and I'll stand by you. Until the end of time" he promises.

"Until the end of time" I smile.