Shadows (Patrick Kane)

(43) Meant To Be

Patrick

I think the hardest part of growing up is the fact that you are just a kid and so much is expected from you already. Our parents want us to grow into something great, they want what is best but sometimes all we want is to be a kid. Someone to tuck us in and tell us that we matter. That we belong in the family we didn't get to choose but chose us.

That's why Sophia struggles so much with her situation with her mom. Not knowing if she can let her in after she had to spend her whole life without her. It's not something that's easily fixed, if it can be fixed at all. Because of her mother's absence Sophia made herself into someone who's family values no longer drive her so it's not like her mom coming back fixes everything. In fact it's only made things more difficult.

Somehow I convince Sophia meet up with her mom but only if I come with her too. We drag Henry out because even though he kind of hated her, he wanted to hear for himself why things fell apart. He deserved some answers and I was hoping all three of them can find some here tonight.

I find us a place private and quiet to talk. Sophia and I were the last to show up as we take our seats across from each other. Henry sat next to me and Sophia across. We order food before the table goes silent. No one knew where to start or where to go. This kind of thing has been hard and it won't get any easier until they talk.

"I saw your CSN special the other day" her mom starts as she looks at her daughter. Sophia glances up at her before quickly turning away. "It was a beautiful piece. Highlighted what a great athlete Henry has become and what a great woman you have become too. This city is lucky to have you both" Kaitlyn claims.

"So we're good enough for the city but not for you" Henry accuses.

Kaitlyn lets out a sigh as she shakes her head. "Your father and I were in love too young and too fast. So deep in love that we didn't realize the kinds of things we would have to do to stay in love once we moved out to Denver and chased this dream of his. It was getting harder and harder each day to be this family everyone expected us to be. He expected me to be there, to raise you kids on my own and be his wife and I couldn't do that. I wanted him to see that without me he wasn't who everyone said he was" she explains.

"So you left everyone to prove some point to John? To be a martyr, to be made an example of" I ask.

Her eyes fall as she nods her head. "At first, yes. It was to prove to him my love for this family shouldn't be used against me. That I stayed that long in the first place because I did love him and I did want to be a family. But then the love got lost and I couldn't come back. He found another woman, then another and another. My kids were getting along without me. I couldn't just show up again" she defends.

"Yes you could" I accuse.

"Patrick, you're an athlete. What happens to families once their situation hits the news? How does that effect your friends when there's more news coverage on someone's home life than what they do out there on the ice? Say you and Sophia settle down and start a family. Times gets hard and you need a break. So you guys talk it over and decide to do things of your own for a while. How do you come back through the media, when is a good time to re enter your kids life when you missed those first football practice or choir concert? You changed your name and you got help and now you want to pick up where you left off. But your kids are almost as tall as you and they have dreams of their own. All of which no longer include you. How do you explain to someone why they should let you back" she asks me.

"I wouldn't have let it get like that in the first place" I admit.

"That's not up to you Patrick... that's the thing. You don't think I tried to prevent this? You don't think I spent years just trying to hold everything together? Of course I tried to stay. I tried to come back. But once the pieces of the puzzle change there's not as much room for me to fit. The kids didn't need me and John didn't love me. There was nothing I could do" she tries.

"We always needed you" Sophia insists. "That's the shitty part. I needed my mother and you were out god knows where doing who knows what. We didn't know if you were alive or if you're okay. I just wanted you around so I can show you my new play I came up with or to go get our nails done together like the other little girls and their moms. It wasn't much but it was small hopes like that that kept me going. Then you crushed my hopes by never showing up" she accuses.

"I was here" Kaitlyn admits and the table falls silent. We all look around a little confused.

"You mean you came to Chicago? Then Sophia came then I came" Henry asks.

"The world works in mysterious ways. I thought Chicago was a place where I can find myself. I couldn't stay home for that was his home too. There was no reason to sit around Denver and wait for something to happen either so I moved here. And in doing so I found you guys" Kaitlyn smiles.

I turn to Sophia as her eyes get watery. I place my hand on her knee and she rests her hand on top of mine.

"I came here to find myself too. It was you who liked the Bears when I was little. Told me the tales of the monsters of the midway, the galloping ghost, the birthplace of the NFL. This city was where I wanted to be and I don't think that's a coincidence" Sophia claims.

"There's no such things as accidents" Kaitlyn says.

"I uh, I'm gonna use the restroom. Hank come with" I say.

"I know we're not using the bathroom" he says as I roll my eyes.

"Come on" I say as I grab his shirt collar.

We leave the table to let Sophia and her mom continue to break through and I actually do end up using the restroom. I wash my hands and lean up against the counter as a soft sigh passes my lips.

"Why'd you do that" he asks me.

"Because as much as you and I deeply care for Sophia, no matter how much we want to protect her she is fully capable of doing things on her own. You pulled her away before she got closure last time and I think she needs to hear from her mom that all of this... it happened for a reason. A reason beyond her control no matter how much she tries to control it" I explain.

"Or she will forgive mom and she'll let her down again" he reminds me.

"Sophie is strong. She is smart in the way that she handles herself. What you see as wreckless I see as passionate. And sure it's risky to let her emotions take over but she's spent her whole life trying to deny her emotions. She's finally freeing herself and this is a huge step. She has to take it on her own" I say.

"How do you know this won't blow up in our faces" he asks.

"I don't. But I know your sister and I know that she is smart, strong, more powerful than she knows. I know she will make things right" I insist.