Shadows (Patrick Kane)

(66) Leap Of Faith

Sophia

Being well traveled has its good and its bad. There isn't much in this world I haven't seen so not much amazes me. There's always a taller building, a clearer ocean, a bigger mountain. After you spend so much time out there looking for yourself you start to realize what you're looking for isn't in Japan or Paris or Puerto Rico. It is inside of you and it was with you the whole time. 

But something about Melbourne made me feel like I belong. I loved the food, the city life, the places to go and things to do. You could spend many a days in the city and never feel bored. And it's not just some tourist gimmick, it's culture. Like going to Hawaii or to the islands. They welcome you but it's not a show they put on. Surfing and barbecuing and concerts and sports. Those things mean the world to the city and it doesn't change once the tourists leaves.

This place has always been my favorite. Out of all the places in the world this ones the most welcoming and interesting. Being back felt right and I couldn't wait to share my experiences with the one person in this world I ever learned to love.

"This is a awful idea I'm not doing this" Patrick says as he come out in his scuba gear. Today was my favorite day we had planned out as we watched the sun rise over the ocean. We have a great breakfast at a local cafe and after a few lessons we get to swim with Sharks.

"You already paid and signed all the papers and you promised me you wouldn't be a baby and back out. So you're doing it" I tell him.

"This is insane. You have to realize this is insane" he tries.

"Of course it is. And that's exactly why we need to do it" I argue.

"I have a poor choice of friends" he mumbles.

"Come on. This is one of the very few things in this world that I haven't done and I want to do. Maybe it won't be everything I dreamed it up to be but I get to do it with you so it's already worth it" I try.

A harsh sigh passes his lip as his eyes close. He shakes his head back and fourth trying to figure out why he let me drag him out here.

"Alright, I'll do it. For you. But if anything happens I want my family to know that this was your idea" he accuses.

"This is fun. Of course it's my idea" I tease. He just rolls his eyes as I smile to myself. A lot might have changed recently but one thing remains. And that's that he is my best friend and him and I are a lot of fun together.

We finish putting on the gear before they bring us to the tank. For a small fee of $300 you can spend some time with the sharks and turtles and stingrays here in a tank in Australia. The environment is controlled and while there is no cages the chances of something happening was slim to none. They get fed a lot and are usually rescued so there's no real threat. We have a class about what to do out there and how to interact. Finally it comes time to swim with the fish.

Naturally Patrick makes me go first so I jump on in. I get to hang out with some cool fish and even make some shark friends. I always found these animals interesting. How they survived all these years and how they live in completely different times than they do now. Many sharks are menaces, predators who's main goal in life is to survive the only way they know how. But yet they're gentle and loving and kind. Unless provoked they would never hurt you. They were like water dogs and I'm so happy I got to experience life on their reef. To see how they live.

After 30 minutes I get out and make Patrick gets in. He needed a little encouragement so I told him that if he behaves I'll make him dinner when we get back.

So he jumps in and spends his 30 minutes out there. I take a lot of pictures for him to share with his family and prove that his scardy ass actually went in. Once we change and thank everyone for being so great we head back to the place we were renting. I take a shower to rinse off the tank water and shave. Patrick follow suit as I make us some food. Once he was done I finish up so we make our plates and jump on the couch. We sit there cuddled up watching some TV just trying to relax. My head rests on Patrick's good shoulder as I look across at his scar.

"How is your arm feeling" I wonder as I lightly run my finger over the bump where they stitched him up.

"It's honestly great. I didn't even realize something was wrong until I move it farther a than it's ready to move. But other than that I'm feeling good" he admits.

"Great. Just in time for parasailing tomorrow" I smile making him shake his head.

"Don't remind me" he mumbles.

"Don't be a buzz kill" I tease.

"I'm not like you Posey. I wish I was. I wish I could look life right in the eyes and not be scared. I wish I had your confidence and your knowledge. Then maybe waking up wouldn't be so scary" he shrugs.

"You think I'm not scared? Of course I'm scared. I question everything I do wondering if I made the right choice. I'm constantly in my head wondering what consequences await me. I act like I don't care, tell my self that whatever happens, happens. Just hope for the best because in reality I have no control over what comes next.

But it's all a facade. A act I put on to hide the fact that I'm not so sure about my life. Not anymore at least. I'm only getting older and my vision is changing. And I'm so scared because sometimes the vision is blurred and I don't know what to do. To keep acting like I'm okay with the way my life is or to take a leap and possibly change everything. Even the way I think" I explain.

"I think I know what you mean" he claims as I turn to look at him. His face soft and kind letting me know he's opening up. "And I feel the same way. I'm just not sure when that leap of faith comes or if we'll be ready" he says.

"I hope we will" I nod.