Wonder if....

Season 3 (Despair)

Y/N:
I walked in after Anne, many kids were already gathered around the printing press that had been delivered not long ago. Either they were watching the work happen or they were the ones doing it.

Anne and I set our things down in the front before walking up to join them, the first page had been printed and hung of on a line for the ink to set while Diana read off our first ever printed page.

"Farmers celebrate new... Gilbert." we all started laughing while Diana fumed "Again Ruby?" "Don't look at me like that! I'm preoccupied. Why isn't he here?" "He went to fetch the Charlottetown doctor, Bash's wife isn't well" Anne piped up.

Tears began to fill her eyes, Anne and I went over to comfort her "Lord have mercy you don't even know that colored women!" Josie shouted "MARY, is a smart loving woman, but you'd know that if you ever said two words to her" "Yeah Josie, it wouldn't kill you to have some compassion.

She is a person, you wouldn't act like that if she was your friend or mother" I added.

Ruby sniffled "Gilbert is so heroic" I looked to her confused while Moody came over handing her a cloth "here Ruby... for your poor eyes" others around us giggled throwing in comments about 'taking notice' most directed torwards Diana.

I scoffed a bit, this whole thing was ridiculous, if you really care for someone show them in a different way, one that shows you know them and understand them not some weird board.

The others looked on chucking as the exchanged banter, flirty might I add, and no I am not a prude and I am all for good fun and things like this but today I was just not in the mood. I smiled at them all before grabbing my book to read as I stood with them all.

Better to be somewhat included than not at all I'd say. The rest of the day was mostly uneventful, I talked to Anne and with no Gilbert there I didn't talk to many others, it's not like I had something against them I just make friends with a pretty unique group of people and other than that people just don't seem to want to talk or get to know me.

Which I'm honestly fine with, I don't need a large group of people who barely know or care about me, I'd much prefer a small group who actually try, that may just be me though. I know a lot of people that would choose the first one.

I grabbed my things and headed for Miss Stacys, I hadn't seen anyone in my family in days and it wasn't as bad as I first thought it would be, I mean I barely talked to them even when I did live there or even when we were on 'good terms' it really wasn't all that different.

"Hello Miss Stacy!" "Y/N! So glad you made it back, I know I was off a bit earlier than normal today" I nodded and set my things down, the perk of living with her was also the fact that she didn't feel the need to pester me with endless things.

Of course I did my share and kept everything very neat and tidy, it was the least I could do, but Mother used to try and get me to do pointless things with no meaning constantly and would yell when I didn't want to.

Needless to say, I was much happier here.

"How was school?"

"Oh it was good, we learned how to use the printing press you brought over"

"yes I taught the others right before you and Anne showed up. I'm sorry I missed you two at the door"

"Oh its quite alright, we were late that's on us"

She gave me a soft smile before heading back into the kitchen. She liked to just walk around the house she called it her 'brainstorm time' bascially it was when she came up with lessons or more things to invent or do that day.

While she did that I started to flip through my book again, I had read it countless times but each time I would notice something new and thats why I kept going, it was almost like a game now to see how many new things I could find each time, so far I'm at two.

"Hey Miss Stacy?" I closed the book and set it down on the table "Yes?" "May I go for a walk?" "Of course, no need to ask me go on then" I nodded heading out and down the path, maybe now I could go visit Mary, she told me she wanted to talk after school.

I started down to their house only to see a distraught looking Gilbert emerge from the doorway.

I stopped, something must have happened, I ran over.

"Gilbert? Whats going on?" he looked up at me, tear stained face and more to come

"Mary...I-she" a broken cry escaped him and I felt tears rise in my own.

"Sh-she can't be, Gil what--?" he nodded sadly more tears escaping, "I can't do anything! Why can't I do something y/n?" I shook my head sadly pulling him into a hug "Sometimes we can't do anything, sometimes this is the way it goes" I tried to make the words sound strong but I knew they didn't.

It was obvious to anyone the strain my voice had "Its so unfair..." "I know, I know it is" I pulled back trying to put on a brave face. "I think I know where you're going, do you want help or should I leave?" "I think...I think Mary wants to see you" I nodded and moved past him.

I gave his shoulder a breif pat before stepping inside. The atmosphere was crippling, you know when you walk into a room and you can just tell its not right? Yeah thats how it was, but worse than any time it had happened before.

I walked slowly down the hall trying to prepare myself, I had to act strong, I know this was going to hurt Bash more than anything and Mary herself? This must be... I don't even know how it must feel.

I lifted my hand and softly knocked on the door, I heard a creak and a moment later the door was opened, Mary looked up at me with a sad smile, Bash looked utterly destroyed. "I was hoping you'd stop by" she waved me over while I tried to keep the tears at bay "Mary..." "I know, its alright" "but its not... life is so, I don't even have a word for it! I'm so sorry Mary".

"No sadness girl, come on whats that story from this morning?" "I'm afraid that ones sad too" I laughed a bit. "Well then thats the exception I must know!" "Okay, okay! My parents disowned me" her face lit with shock.

"That was...blunt" "I figured it would be better than fumbling over words"

"How did that even happen? Why would they do that"

"Well apparently they don't like women with ambitions so they kicked me out but its alright, Miss Stacy was kind of enough to take me in for the time being"

"I'm so sorry that happened bu I'm glad you're okay" I noded. We spent time talking about new stories and things I could write about, she had the most marvelous mind.

I would pray for a miracle, I really would, but like I've said before, life doesn't always go that way.

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An: 1280 Words! I just-can't its so sad.
I hope I'm alright at writing angst
but I'm sorry if it sucked! As
always leave any, questions,
suggestions, comments, or
concerns! I hope you enjoyed
this chapter! Happy Reading
Bookworms!