Secret Admirer//Billie Joe Armstrong\\

Finale

~Chloe's POV~

I found myself walking towards Billie's and for what? Nothing could fix what we did, it's not as if we could run away like they do in the movies. We had fucked up, nothing could ever change that. We took a risk and it didn't pay off, why did we ever think it would work?. I looked around before walking up to his door. I took a deep breath before knocking on his door. It didn't take long to answer and when he did, he looked at me with dull eyes. "Chloe? What are you doing here?" He asked, sounding shocked but a hint of relief was in there somewhere. "I needed some air and I just wanted to check on you." I told him and he moved slightly, letting me in.

The house seemed a lot more dull since last time. It was clear this house belonged to a person who had gone through some shit. "Want anything to drink?" He asked as I closed the door and I nodded. "Just some water" I replied as I sat down on his couch. He brought me my water and gave me a brief smile, which I returned. "Why did you have to tell them? You knew I was already going through my miscarriage?" I asked, not mad, just, upset.

"It was either that or Mike was going to tell them Chloe. I realised it would've been better coming from me." He told me and I sighed. "I guess but, now my parents won't even look at me. I've reached peak disappointment, it kinda hurts." I said, holding back tears. I'd seemed to become more mature after all this, I don't know why or how but I just did. "I'm sorry Chloe, I really am. But, it was bound to happen. Our relationship was far from normal, it was never gonna work" I simply shuffled my feet. "I know, but it doesn't mean it hurts any less. All of this because people frowned upon us. I suppose we started with hello, but it's ending with a complicated goodbye that I'm finding so hard to say right now" He sighed.

"I've ruined everything haven't I?" He asked and I shrugged. "Probably. I'm just as much to blame though. This was never gonna work" I said, standing up. "Goodbye, Billie Joe" I said, tears forming in my eyes as I walked towards his door. "Goodbye, Chloe" He said, choking back a sniffle. I didn't say anything before walking out of the door and walking to wherever my legs took me.

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Nothing could have compared to the heartache I felt upon hearing that Billie Joe had moved to New York, I guess it was the fact I'd never see him again, or perhaps because the last time I did see him was to say goodbye. I was pretty sure he had blocked my number, as I did to him after a short while. I had heard from some other teacher that had the biggest crush on him that he had gotten married to a girl named Adrienne, not that I should've cared. After all, what happened with us was not only illegal, but it happened nearly 7 years ago.

I had even met a boy, his name was Benjamin, Ben or Benny for short. He was almost everything Billie was, yet, my heart and mind longed for Billie, I missed him more than I should've, which lead to some interesting conversations between me and Benny. I mean, I was expecting his kid yet I still missed my ex. I suppose some things just aren't meant to work out, and that's okay, you can still feel pain from those things, you shouldn't be made to feel bad and you shouldn't be made to feel as if you can't feel that pain.

For now, I'll have to remain, a secret admirer.

Updated 2021