[1] Take the Shot | Leo Fitz

46

Warning; very loose mention of an eating disorder and self-harm. Neither go into detail and are more implied than stated. There is also a brief mention of being suicidal and a form of suicide, again doesn't go into detail. If you feel that you can't read it, skip to the next (*) and feel free to message me for an explanation of what was missed.

*

Coulson walking into Nina's motel room an hour after her breakdown wasn't a surprise. Neither was the fact that she now sat in the centre of the bed, with a book in her hand and absolutely no indications that anything had happened.

"What are you reading?" Coulson asked and Nina held up the book to allow him to see the cover. It was 1984, specifically her copy of 1984 that Fitz had taken to keeping in his bag, "is it good?"

"You've read it," Nina said as she turned the page. She'd effectively shut down his attempt at small talk but she couldn't help it. Coulson had made a comment about the book before and she wasn't going to play along with his feign ignorance.

"Yeah, I have," Coulson said as he stepped further into the room. He noticed a file resting on the bedside table and caught the glimpse of a name, The Bear Foundation. It was a thick file and the pen marks on Nina's hands told him that she'd been working on it before he arrived. Coulson made a mental note to ask her about this foundation later.

He placed a paper plate on her bed, Nina looked down at it before focusing back on her book when she saw that it contained 2 slices of pizza, "you didn't come out, so I brought you dinner."

"Thanks but I'm not hungry," she muttered as she focused on the plot of the book she could recite from memory.

"You haven't eaten all day," Coulson said as he nudged the plate closer to her, "at least have a bite."

Nina's hand hesitated as she went to turn the page and she reluctantly closed the book, setting it down on the mattress. The tone Coulson had just used was reminiscent of the one used by a therapist she saw weekly once Tony had taken her in, a therapist who pitied her more than tried to help her. She didn't appreciate the tone and she let her hatred be known by the glare she sent Coulson.

"Are you trying to add another diagnosis to the list of things wrong with me?" she asked before holding up one of the pizza slices and taking an exaggerated bite out of it, before dropping it back on the plate and pushing it towards Coulson, "I bought a sandwich earlier, the packet's in the trash if you wanna check."

"Do you blame me for being concerned?" Coulson asked and Nina didn't respond, "you have a lot of unhealthy habits-"

"Can we not have this conversation right now?" Nina asked with an exhausted sigh but Coulson continued speaking.

"You repress your emotions more than you let yourself feel them and you use your childish sarcasm as a shield. Those scars and cuts on your palms, Nina you abuse your skin at a similar rate to people who want to kill you," Coulson's words caused her to retreat into herself slightly as she clenched her fists and bit down on her lower lip, "before you joined this team, you were about a week away from jumping off a bridge."

"Wow," Nina said with a dry laugh and eye roll, "why don't you say what you really think about me?"

"This is exactly what I mean. I need to know if this betrayal has reversed all your progress and you need to talk to someone."

"Why? So I can break down? If you've forgotten, I already tried that twice and it solved nothing," Nina said, referring to how she literally shattered in Coulson's arms, "I'm fine, boss. I've been through worse than a backstabbing asshole."