Danganronpa: Locked Doors of Despair

Ch.4 Daily Life Part 6: Of ROM Hocks, Revenge, and Revival

Kana

"There's no way that's real!" I laugh.

"Hey, we have no way of knowing, we're not gamers!" Fujiko giggles after purposefully going down face-forward on the slide.

"It's real. Oh, it's real. And it's old. Old enough to be on a physical cartridge. I cannot BELIEVE you've played that game!" Monterio insists.

"What?! It's real?!"

"I told you, my friends at home are fucking crackheads, plus we're in middle school!" Chimon grins. He cartwheels on the soft foam and falls on his back because he's laughing.

"I need to know more now!" Fujiko squeals.

"All of the sprites are legit old school pixel art of rhinos! It's a legit rhino dating sim! I mean, rated G, thank all that is holy, but it's what I imagine a high would feel like!"

"What are the characters like?!" I beg.

"FUCKING RHINO ROYALTY! You're the court jester in a kingdom of rhinos, and the cast has like a whole bunch of date options! You can date the head cook of the castle, the princess's handmaiden, a minstrel who frequently visits... and if you do all the other routes, you can date the princess!"

"Who was your favorite?" Monterio asks, looking genuinely invested. I shove his face away, and he chuckles.

"I liked the minstrel! Every time she came onscreen, she had a new cute little song to play! The handmaiden's route is a goddamn acid trip, though! You legit help her slowly rise to power until she overthrows the king and ramps up the military budget, and you HONEST TO GOD DIE before you figure out what she's planning!"

"Oh, goodness! Is she at least a PRETTY murderous coop-leading rhino?" Fujiko asks jokingly.

"It's 'coup,' actually," he corrects automatically, "But as for your question...??? Uh, as pretty as a murderous coup-leading rhino can get?! The graphics are shit, so I don't fucking know!"

"WHAT?! And you say you found this thing tucked in the far back corner of the game room cabinet?!"

"YES! I can prove to you that I'm telling the truth about this!"

"We're entering legendary gamer status today, all," Monterio beams, cradling me in his arms so I can't defy him as they all descend down the stairs. And trust me, I try. I grab the banister of each and every staircase, but my attempts are useless.

When we get to the game room, he quickly retrieves the cartridge and waves it about flagrantly. Monterio finds the console for it, and Chimon gingerly but swiftly puts it in its proper slot.

Suddenly, red pixels like blood drag down the pixel rhinos' faces. Monterio and Chimon look at each other with some kind of awe on their faces. "Oh. My God. It's a ROM Hack. What luck!" Chimon wiggles with a smug expression.

"Ooooh! Like all of those game-related horror stories?" Fujiko leans in with interest.

"Oh God, what are we getting ourselves into? Is this an even creepier, more absurd version of a rhino dating sim that already includes murder?" I blink tiredly. My love leans in and gives me a warm, affectionate hug, kissing my neck and making me giggle. "Wh-What's this for? You know horror doesn't scare me. I'm in it for the comedic value."

"Right," he mumbles, just loud enough for me to hear without letting the other two notice.

I don't get scared. I don't. I especially don't get scared of absurdist rhino dating sims from early gaming. The weird sounds that appear out of place. The nightmare faces. The thing we can occasionally see just out of the corner of our eyes. The handmaiden telling us disturbing shit she plans to do. To the kingdom. To the players. Nope. None of it scares me. Not at all. I was raised in a family that tries to scare each other all the time. This. Is. Nothing.