Danganronpa: Locked Doors of Despair

Ch.5 Daily Life Part 4: Of Lost Children, Lost Time, and Lost Chances

[A/N] Trigger Warning: Very, very, very mild derealization in the first scene. It's basically nothing, but better to be safe than sorry.

Yuu

The only time of day when I'm alone is the time I least wish I was: fear simulation time. I know I said this would be fine, and for the most part, it has been, but I'm still scared of what could happen if I hit my own. Azumi's waiting right outside, so I sit down, leg shaking. Monokuma spins the wheel yet again.

"Is today the day the lionheart Yuu Bando stumbles upon his fear?" he taunts as the thing whizzes around in a blur.

"Can't be that bad," I insist, trying to convince myself.

"Eleven. Darn."

"Okay, I don't understand you! Are you still trying to pretend you're our friend, or—?"

Before I can get even a semblance of an answer, the pod closes and I'm thrust into a whole new landscape. For some reason, I'm at the park; the rolling hills are filled with some families, couples, and the like, but I am here completely alone. Everything feels hazy, almost like how I felt when I knew I was hallucinating, except I'm ninety percent sure it's real-- as real as a simulation can get, anyway. And I come to the startling conclusion that I have no fucking idea how I got here. Again, I DO, because I got here through simulation, but in-character, I don't know. My heart starts to rush as I fumble around in a park I'm completely unfamiliar with and that I don't remember coming to. I pat myself down frantically, trying to figure out what I have on me. No wallet, no jacket, no food or water bottle, just my phone. I scroll through my contacts list, which is ridiculously short, and call my mother. It dials for a while before going to voicemail.

Holy shit. I have no money for a bus ride, no idea where I even AM. The phone rings. "Hello?!"

"Yuu, where have you been?!"

"How long did it take you to realize I was missing?" I ask, surprisingly not feeling particularly angry.

"Look, just go look for street signs, sweetheart, I'll come pick you up."

I scan my field of vision, hardly able to see the road in the distance, and I dash over there. In the process, people keep calling me by a different name, and the only word on my lips is "Why?!" I find my location and huddle by a bench, trying to calm myself down while people give me strange looks. Stoplookingstoplookingstoplooking. Damn, this one isn't my fear, but that part sure hits close to home. After what feels like an unbearable amount of time, a car pulls up. My mother's in the car, but there's someone else in the passenger seat. It's a guy who's a common customer at my family's shop, and a friend of my parents, but for some reason, seeing him makes my heart drop to my stomach. "YOU?! WHY ARE YOU HERE?!" I scream, scrambling away. "Why did you come back?! Why did you even leave in the first place?!"

"Yuu, darling, what's wrong?" my mother asks. "You don't usually act like this, what on Earth is going on?"

"I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T EVER KNOW ANYTHING! I don't know why I'm here, I don't know why it takes you so long to notice, I don't know why he's around, I don't know why I'm upset, I just know that I am!"

I consider running, but I don't know where I am and I could be miles and miles from home, so I begrudgingly get in the car, wishing I could just POOF away and wind up back home. The whole ride back, they're talking about the possibility of him moving in, and all the good times we'll have. And he talks about a present he got for my mom, and the present makes me even more anxious, and by now I'm crying and a curled up mess and they don't even seem to care. Can I please just vanish into the ether and never exist?!

I'm ejected. "What the fuck even was that?!"

"I wonder!"

"You are useless to me, goodbye." I shove down the light nausea and leave, opening the door wide.