Danganronpa: Locked Doors of Despair

Ch. 2 Daily Life Part 1: Of Gossip, Grief, and Gameshows

Haruto

It's so blurry. It's like we've all been tossed in a bucket of dry ice or something— cold, bleak, foggy. My head feels so foggy. In a haze, we all ascend back up to where we were, back to these stupid dorms. We try to comfort Ren, but he tells us he isn't in the mood.

We wander back into our dorm rooms, lonely. I try my very bestest to sleep, but every time I close my eyes, I see one of them. Hachi or Nari, body or body, horror or horror. I'm so sleepy, but my mind hates me. Well, I hate it right back, so there. I decide, against all better judgement, to go out again. Welcome back to Bisque's Idiotic Insomnia Hours, everyone!

It seems like I was definitely not the only one with this idea. Multiple people are out and about. Tozen is night cooking with Gou tagging along. They offer to let me help, but I'm tired, so I think I'd be even more accident-prone right now. Azumi is meditating right outside of the garden, like she's too nervous to breach that barrier. I'd join HER, but she's so deep into it. I don't wanna disturb her. If the music is any indication, Kana and Monterio are dancing in the parlor like always.

I poke my head into the craft room— maybe I'll start something else, or even just mold some clay for a while— and once again find it invaded. This time, the intruders are Yuu and Sayuri as he makes shoes and she watches. "H-Haruto. Can I talk to you?" Yuu asks. I take a couple of steps back, saying nothing. He sighs, looking more sad than angry or disappointed. "Yeah, I deserve that. It makes sense for you to be wary around me. If you're worried about me hurting you, Sayuri can stay and monitor us. If I do or say anything stupid and distress you, she can intervene and I'll stop. If that's okay with her, that is."

"Is it okay with YOU, Bisque?" she asks.

I bite my lip a little and take tiny steps toward them, eventually sitting cross-legged a few paces away. He takes quite a few deep breaths, and I find myself doing the same. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for accusing you."

"That's not the problem. And by the way, I could've defended myself, probably. But when everyone started talking all at once, I got sensory overload. So thanks," I explain defensively. I don't even like my OWN tone.

"Shit, really? Damn, I'm an asshole. I'm sorry for what I said. I'm sorry for yelling and for scaring you. It was unfair, cruel, and needless. I basically crusaded against you all on my own. You didn't deserve that." He pauses. "Can I admit something to you?" he asks. He beckons me closer as though to whisper. My bitterness is thrown off by my excitement at being told a secret, so I do it. "I'm pretty much the biggest coward you'll ever meet. I wasn't lying when I said you're supremely likable. I think you're pretty great. And that scares the bejeezus out of me sometimes."

"Why?" I whisper back. I turn my head a little and find Sayuri wide-eyed and staring intently. "Let her into the loop, if you're comfortable with it. She's gonna go crazy knowing we hid info right in front of her!"

He laughs a little bit. "Ah, you're right. Okay, so Sayuri, what I was saying was that I really DO like Haruto quite a bit, but that's scary to me. And I was just about to explain why. Okay... ah, crap, even telling people scares me. I'm fine." He shakes his arms a little as if to loosen up. "Well, I knew a girl like you in middle school. She was bubbly. Optimistic. Kind to pretty much everyone. I trusted her a lot. But then she ruined my reputation. I don't really wanna go into the story too much, but let's just say that I wound up alone because of her. So trusting people isn't easy for me. And if I start to feel like I'm trusting someone, I get freaked out and overthink things."

"Heh. I understand overthinking things. I somehow manage to both underthink things and overthink things. But if you're scared of trusting me, why were you so willing to tell me just now?"