back to you || yeonbin

45

Live! Live the wonderful life that is in you! Let nothing be lost upon you. Be always searching for new sensations. Be afraid of nothing.

-"The Picture of Dorian Gray"
Oscar Wilde

For that was exactly what whizzed past his mind, as Soobin sat up in the empty bed, eyeing his surroundings.

All so bare.

He should have felt remorse. Anger.
Emotions that potrayed all things violent.
No less murder.

But instead, by the twisted ways of fate or perhaps by the wishful thinking of life, a thought completely counter to what he had contemplated, had ran through him.

Live.
Set everything behind.
Let nothing be lost upon you.

For I am not the one who has lost.
The one who lost everything has ran away.

It would be almost inhumane to think that Yeonjun would come back.

He never deserved you.
If he loved you, he would have stayed.
He would have took you to himself, protected you from all the thorns from the outside.
Instead he left.

The Yeonjun Soobin knew had been someone who took in to other's needs before thinking about himself.

The Yeonjun he knows now is someone else. Someone Soobin failed to see all these years.

And it would be a crime to sacrifice your happiness for someone who didn't give a damn on what would happen if they deliberately broke your heart.

It's just the fact that all these years Soobin had thought back to all the good times he had with Yeonjun, and somehow he had missed the agonizing pain he had to endure all because the same Yeonjun had left him and ran away.

Everyone had told him not to go after him. Not to pine for someone so narcissistic, someone so unfaithful to himself.

But he had fallen.
It's consequences laid bare.

Jinyoung's words rang in his head.
"There will be a time when he leaves, that you won't feel the pain again. You would make it seem so inevitable. That, buddy, is when you'll get back on your feet."

That time is now.

And so there, at that very hotel room, at precisely 8: 18 am in the morning, Choi Soobin moved on.

Did he?
Only time will tell.

But for now, his side of the story will cease to reveal itself for a while.

°°°°°°°°°

"Where will you go?" Leo asked, as he held Yeonjun's hand.

Yeonjun's eyes never met his.

Why isn't he shouting at me?!
I frickin cheated on him!

"Far."

Leo hummed.
And he let go.

"Promise me you'll take care of yourself."

Yeonjun nodded blankly, as if not even believing he himself could ever hold on to a promise.

"What should I tell Jennie and Heeseung?" Leo asked.

Why hasn't he still asked about me cheating on him?!

Sometimes you go so insane that you start to believe that people around you are insane as well.

Leo is insane.
I am insane.
Much more than before.