3:46am
Fuck why the fuck am I awake!? I thought I wouldn't be awake for another day but I'm fucking here, those pills were shit, I bet if it wasn't for the damn nightmare I had I would still be fucking asleep
I woke up to bunny's voice which brought me out of the nightmare but I still have that weird after feeling I always get. It's whatever it's not like I haven't been through this before anyway
4:15am
I fell asleep again to bunny's singing and guess what fuckers??? I HAD ANOTHER NIGHTMARE✌️I swear I can't catch a ducking break I'm just done with sleeping, like honestly I rather pass out from exhaustion because then I won't get these stupid things because my mind is too busy trying to recooperate than to create stupid scenarios in my fucking sleep.
Anyway I'm gonna shower now, since I can't go back to sleep.
9:35am
I just rolled on my bed and groaned so loud my mom was like "wtf is wrong with you???" I'm in a blanket burrito so I picked up my head and said "nothing I'm just here rolling around" and she was like "uhhh" before turning around and walking away while mumbling "why aren't my children normal?"
10:40am
Tis was forgotten by my mother😃✌️we were going to meet up at her church so we could take my little sister to her manners banquet thing annnnd she completely forgot to pick me up so I had to meet her at the place which was 3 towns over✌️
12:15pm
😭😭bunny called me a bad boy for the random thought I was having while drivinggggg I swear I wasn't going to try it thooooo
Here's the thought: "what if I do an experiment to see how long I can go without sleeping before I lose my mind? The last time I did something like this, I went almost 2 weeks before I passed out, maybe I can go longer this time? Or shorter?"
2:35pm
It had been 10 hours and 30min since I was awake before I passed out during my online lecture at 2, and guesssss whattttt ✨I had another fucking nightmare✨bunny brought me out of it again with sending texts, but like seriously I'm just fucking done, I'm tired of this, my roommate told me to help myself to any drinks she has in the dorm and you bet I did, had a case of hard lemonade mikes, 3 cups of sprite with vodka, and I had Malibu with something else I don't really remember. But it's still nothing, I feel sober, the only thing I feel is the beginning of the buzz but that's literally it, because of my damn nerves it isn't working,
I banged my head on the wall and kicked it because I was just so frustrated with everything, broke sobriety #3 and #4!! 🎉I even got new scars on my shoulder to celebrate ✌️😃all I need is one more sobriety to break and I'll be the disappointment I know I am ✌️
3:30pm
Aight class is over, time to go home✌️
5:30pm
Alright sorry for being a jerk earlier, just realization set in that I'm a constant disappointment so like what's the point of trying
10:09pm
I was thinking about what bunny said about me being slightly autistic? Or having some form of it??? Mostly because 1: I don't like loud noises (crowds, loud music, thunder, etc) 2: I hate absolutely hate people touching me if I didn't make the first move 3: also I can be highly interested in a topic and will talk about it for days on end if I find the right person to discuss it with but other than that I don't really know much other than the basics that need to be learned. 🤷♂️
11:30pm
I only got 6 hours of sleep last night before I got plagued with nightmares, kind of scared to go to sleep now but I know I need to, hopefully no nightmares this time... I really don't need any with how I'm feeling right now
