2:44am
Me and my sister in law just came back in from our nightly smoke session, I'm going to sleep now since I have work tomorrow
8:13pm
I'm at work, no thoughts so far aside from going to Walmart to buy things to hurt myself with, I drive myself to work today because my brother and sister in law were gonna be busy this evening
8:36pm
I spoke too soon about the thoughts... there's people here at work and there's a lady next to me that I want to kill, she has t done anything I just want to simply kill her for the heck of it, there's something wrong with my head
11:03pm
I'm counting the drawer of our register to close and I can't stop thinking that there's something wrong with my head
10/17/21
12:34am
I'm at jasmines aunts house, jasmine is high, everyone else is drunk, and I'm sitting next to jasmine with a stone cold face, she asked me that if my brother left her, would I leave the house with him? I said no, I want to stay with her, she said she was looking into probably renting her house and moving elsewhere but I don't want her to leave me behind, I told her that if she leaves me behind I'll end up going to the pysch ward again for who knows how long because I'll be lost, she still has to take me to Dennys
4:30am
I can't sleep
5:23am
Please don't leave me
8:22am
I got a little sleep but now me and jasmine were called into work and we have to be there by 10am, I have to get her girls ready and get myself ready, we can do this! Also it's a double shift, morning shift at one of the bars and afternoon at one of the chocolate stores
9:39am
Dang almost 10am but we're almost there!!!
2:38pm
This bitch is getting on my nerves, she won't leave jasmine alone, she's toxic asf, she literally and I mean LITERALLY told jasmine that she hurt herself and that she was going to die and jasmine asked me if she should believe her and I said no because she's just looking for attention, and that if something did happen then it wasn't any of our faults, and sure enough, the bitch didn't do anything and jasmine got mad but was relieved, I don't like this person, she doesn't like me, she gets jealous if she hears me on the BACKGROUND of jasmines phonecall like wtf!!!!
7:07pm
Yeah I won't lie it did get to me, I didn't care what you said to me, in fact, I was laughing, but as I went on with my day, you were stuck on my mind, first off, we haven't talked in DAYS, second of all, you... YOU had the audacity to say I was pretending, you triggered me, third of all, now I can't get certain thoughts out of my head so thank you. I'm not pretending, I'm simply tired of being the happy little shit everyone makes me out to be because of a stupid mask, I'm done being naive, I'm done being nice, I'm done
11:37pm
I fell asleep on jasmines lap, it was nice because she was playing with my hair while she was on tiktok, I have to wake up early tomorrow but I think I just won't sleep again, oh! I finally took my pills, after almost a week I guess now, I finally took them so we'll see how I'm feeling tomorrow, anyways, this is all for today, Goodnight
