11:13pm
So... I am pissed, sad, and I honestly don't know what else. It hurt to be betrayed like that honestly. I didn't want to do anything I just wanted to cry. Lance took over forcefully and I lashed out at him and said some mean things. I'll apologize to him in the morning.
I was scared to come out after Lance took control. He tried to persuade me to come out but I didn't want to. I was still partially there and watching what he was doing but k didn't want to come out. I was scared that if I came out everything would crumble. I watched my friends joke around and have fun without all the drama and I was glad that they were happy again. We are a giant family and it really hurt me that one of our own lied to us. After all, we did show them love, support, and care that a normal family would have but they went and betrayed that. I started questioning everyone on my own and driving myself insane which is why Lance took over... I probably would have done something if it wasn't for him... I know Emi would've missed me and the others as well but... i don't know... i guess I was just wondering if it was all real or if it was in my head...
Watching Lance try to be me was amusing. I didn't comment on it but I found it sweet that even he cares for the little family I made with these people. We may be from different part of the world but we have each other's back. I really appreciate them.
