We lost him, he fought hard, he tried as hard as he could, but it was too much
We got close despite everything he's done and said, it hurts so much, it really really hurts, he's been through so much, he was trying to change, he did change, but he was trying to be better, he wanted to be better for Alex
We'll meet again and when we do I'm going to beat him up... god I fucking hate this... just when he was trying to change.... He wanted a chance... fucking universe bullshitted him... it hurts... I wish I was there... I wish I could've held him.... I wish I could've seen him before he left... it hurts so much there's a physical ache in my chest... I can't stop shaking or crying... it hurts... he was changing.. he needed more time... but he's not in pain anymore... he's watching over Alex and Marcus and the others.... And me.... He told Marcus to keep me in check so I wouldn't do anything stupid....
4 months... I've known him for 4 months but it feels like I've known him all my life... he shared a lot about himself to me because I didn't turn my back on him... I stayed strong even when I was hurt because I didn't want him to be alone... goddammit... it hurts... I never left... even when others told me to... I didn't want him to be alone...
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This hurt... in a good way... but it hurt... we butted heads a lot... he said so many mean things... but I knew he didn't mean it...
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It hurt so much... it hurts so much... why.. why when you were getting better... why when you started changing... why couldn't there be more time... why take you so soon... I'll miss you.... I'll miss you telling me off... I'll miss you saying you don't care when I'm reality you do... I'll miss you telling me about yourself... I'll miss you asking me things and asking me for help when you didn't know what to do... I'll miss you so fucking much... fuck why... why fucking dammit! Why does it hurt so fucking much!
You were so stubborn to die all those other fucking times! Why! Why fucking now! You were supposed to have more time! You were supposed to have a chance! You were supposed to! Why'd you leave so soon... you were getting better... you were actually trying to get better... I want to live on.... I want to try to live on... it hurts but ugh I feel like I can't... I'll miss you so fucking much
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IT FUCKING HURTS! We grew close and now you're gone... you were supposed to be with Alex again... you showed them you weren't what they thought.... You showed them the real you... you showed them everything.... You fucking bastard... who'll tell me off like you do? Who'll say things that hurt but come back and apologize.... Why dammit... I wish I could've hugged you... I hope you know I cared so much... I hope you know it... you're not alone.... Never were never will be... I love you Aaron... I love you so much.... Rest easy Sir Doofus❤️💖💛💙🕊😭💔
