Please Don't Go (The Story of Us Book 3)

Chapter 3- Waiting

Spencer's P.O.V.

Amanda has been in a coma for two months now. Hotch got better and went home. He should be starting work soon. As of right now, I'm still not cleared to fly and I don't want to leave Amanda. The only time I've left the hospital is when Kristen convinces me to leave to take a shower and change but other than that, I've been by her side the whole time. Kristen's here a lot as well as Lacey. I can tell that she feels guilty for not finding her sooner and I spend most of the time that she's here comforting her and telling her it isn't her fault.

Kristen spends most of her time attempting to convince me that this isn't Hotch's fault either but I can't help how I feel. The more I sit in this empty room waiting for her brain activity to increase or decrease all I can think about is that case. I remember that night like it was yesterday. I remember going to Foyet's house and finding Derek passed out. I can recall the exact moment when Hotch figured out he was going after that reporter. The way he sneered that if Amanda had been with them they would've caught him sooner.

At the time I had agreed. Amanda had been right, after all, a survivor didn't make any sense for Foyet and we were all too blind to see it but Amy was always good at things like that. She never let preconceptions get in her way of what she needed to do or figure out. I wonder if I should take a page out of her book. I don't know when she's going to wake up and I can't travel but I could work from the office. I know that but I hate the thought of leaving her. In this hospital, the same one that he dropped Hotch off at, Foyet could get to her easily.

I can't let that happen. I can't lose her. I won't. "Hey, Reid," Garcia says, knocking gently on the glass of Amanda's hospital room. I turn my head and I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the same glass and have to hold back a flinch. I haven't had a good night's sleep since before the case in Canada and I know that eventually I'm going to crash and I have to pray that Amanda wakes up before that happens so Foyet can't finish the job.

"Shouldn't you be at work?" I croak out and watch her frown at my non-greeting.

"We just finished a case actually. Hotch's first back. We missed you," she tells me and I shake my head.

"Clearly you guys were fine," I shoot back and when she flinches, I feel the guilt seep into me. But I can't help it. I don't blame the team for working because I know they care about Amanda too but I like it better when I'm alone with her. Sometimes, I swear that when I look over towards the glass I can see her. She's always dressed the same in her jean short shorts with a tight, light blue sleeveless shirt. When I look over, she smiles at me and it's as though everything is going to be okay, like she's telling me that she is going to wake up. That never happens when other people are around and I could really use it. However, that's not Garcia's fault so I take a deep breath and apologize. "I'm sorry. I haven't been sleeping."

"She wouldn't want that, Spencer. Amanda loved you and she wouldn't want your life to stop while you wait for her to wake up."

"What if he comes back?" I wonder, finally breathing the fear I've been holding onto for these long two months. "What if Foyet finds out he didn't kill her and comes back to finish the job?"

"He didn't come back for Hotch," she points out.

"He dropped Hotch off. He wanted him to live. The only reason Amanda has even a fraction of a fighting chance is because Lacey went out and came back in time to save her. She suspected Foyet before we even got the case, Garcia. He wants her dead because he thinks that she's our best chance of finding him and he's right. How much did Hotch screw up on this case? How angry did he get at the team for missing things?" I demand.

"Spencer-"

"Exactly. He went after Haley and Jack because he knew it would throw Hotch off his rhythm and that's what he needs. Foyet needs Hotch distracted because so long as he's distracted so is the team because they are too busy making sure he's okay. Amanda doesn't let things like that get in her way, it's how she was trained so I can't trust that he can't easily walk into this hospital and finish what he started and I'm not willing to risk it an attempt to get some rest. I probably wouldn't be able to go to sleep anyway," I mutter.